OMG @Eric. Best remake yet!
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Why do my thoughts fail me during times of need? I can’t come up with a common euphemism for penis to save my life. Luckily I was smart enough to NOT google that. 
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That’s probably not a bad thing @TravelingOn. Sadly the Yiddish ones spring quickly to mind for me…not sure why though. Hmmm…
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Willy, Wang, Schlong, Meat, Hot Dog, One Eyed Wonder Worm…
The list is endless.
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Here is a great drink I made up recently. It’s called a Quarantini.
This is the recipe:
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Peel and slice 1/2 cucumber, remove the seeds and chop it up.
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Put it in a glass with 8 fresh basal leaves and 4 fresh mint leaves.
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Add 2 shots of cucumber vodka, 1 shot of lemon vodka, and 1 shot of regular vodka.
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Muddle it all together - muddle, muddle, toil and trouble…
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Strain into a glass through a sieve.
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Add 1 shot of simple syrup, ice, and a splash of Diet Sprite for some effervescence.
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Stir it and top with a mint leaf and cucumber slice.
This is the best drink I’ve made in a while.
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OK, sorry to be the bearer of bad news. According to bartenders (and Allison), we should definitely be drinking more alcohol. But according to doctors, we should be using all of those alcoholic drinks to wash our hands, not to give us drunk thoughts: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2020/03/20/fact-check-drinking-alcohol-wont-reduce-coronavirus-risk/2881704001/
" Alcohol can be used to disinfect surfaces and kill COVID-19, and some distilleries are making hand sanitizer to address the shortage. But drinking it will not provide any protection against this virus. And it may even make you more susceptible. Excessive alcohol consumption is associated with adverse immune-related health effects such as susceptibility to pneumonia."
“We rate the claim that consuming alcohol will help reduce the risk of coronavirus as FALSE”
It was fun while it lasted, though, …
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ROTFLOL!! 
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Sadly most of the alcohol we drink doesn’t contain enough alcohol to kill anything other than your liver, so drink on (in moderation), or set up a still to increase your alcohol %.
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Why do such articles always leap from “drinking” to “excessive alcohol consumption” as if the two are synonymous? Drives me to drink, it does.
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Probably because most of the people writing articles like this are in their early 20’s and haven’t been exposed to the genteel pace at which most of us drink once we got out of our early 20’s and stopped binge drinking. I hope that is the explanation, seems like a plausible hypothesis.
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Counterpoint: When I drink, I fall asleep. Which means I keep adequate social distance from my “essential employee” husband.
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Drunk posting again bc no one can tell me that I can’t:
So I’m super irritated that I’m not saving the world one home-grown tomato plant at a time. My plant death rate percentages are outdoing COVID-19 by a wide margin.
I decided to check in with myself to see if I’m overreacting to my Magnolia Farms lifestyle not turning out on the first try.
And then I realized that I always get this pissed when I try new things without any research and then they fail. Overreacting? Yes. Overreacting for me? No.
Sweet. I don’t need counseling. Problem solved. But I still need a produce section and a designated shopper.
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That will teach you. god created curtains for a reason; to keep the sun out…lol
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Happy FUD anniversary, Alli!
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Ditto. Happy FUDaversary, Allison!
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Ah, this is Justin Timberlake from one of my fav SNL skits “D$ck In A Box”.
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Sam, i dont know how many people will get this joke…but i find it hysterical. so thanks, bc u made me laugh today…and i REALLY needed a good one. u delivered. (btw, i’ve been watching the Tiger King now for 3 days…it is truly mezmorizing. i cant turn off the tv.)( “Oh, Honey, just one more episode, PLEASE!!!” )
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