We reluctantly declined attending a July 4th BBQ with our close friends/neighbors that is an annual get-together for the past 25 years.
It’s a core group of 3 families (us and 2 other couples, we are all in our 60s), plus various adult children and their families (who all live in our state but different towns), and random neighbors who don’t have any where else to go (varies from year to year).
In addition to T1, I have rheumatoid arthritis, and several other co-morbidities.
I feel terribly guilty, and know that some of the people will think we’re being excessively cautious. The couple who hosts it have been super nice and understanding (we’re close friends), but I’m sure most of the others will be snickering.
What are your feelings about a situation like this?
You made the right choice. Staying at home with family and BBQ’ing by ourselves. Safe and fun. When we’re around others, we run the risk of INFECTING THEM…so you should feel great that you aren’t asymptomatic and possibly spreading it to one of those family members you care for deeply.
I hope no one is snickering in these times for you NOT wanting to get around others to get yourself exposed or to expose others. Not wearing masks and not social distancing at this point, after the scientists continue to emphasize the importance of these things, is a fully political statement. 130k lives lost so far and we’re only under 10% in on this pandemic. We crossed 50k cases a few days ago - more than some countries have had in total…we had in a single day.
If you can be fully safe, as @cardamom stated, I’m totally down with that.
My partner shares custody of a dog who is one of the prettiest dogs I’ve met, but also highly anxious/dysfunctional in the best of times, and who hates hates HATES fireworks. This year has been terrible for that here as it apparently is in many places, so we already have her on Trazodone, which helps some, but much of the weekend will be spent trying keep her from completely losing her mind.
I would not attend a larger gathering, and certainly not one without social distancing/masks. I’m fine with not wearing masks if you’ve got a few people well distanced from each other outdoors, but masks should be handy if you need to move closer and you need to figure out what to do for if people need to use the bathroom etc. We will likely have a couple of friends over for a social distanced visit in our backyard on Sun, which we’ve been doing with other careful friends, in which we wear masks when at all close, and then sit distanced across from each other with our large fire-pit between. I think a fire probably adds another element of protection, in addition to being awesome.
That’s my fur baby, too! She IS the most beautiful doggie I’ve ever met (biased!) but she is terrified of fireworks. She doesn’t normally go up stairs, but when she hears the fireworks, she RUNS up the stairs to the bedroom next to the bed to hide. That’s how I learned she really COULD go up stairs on her own!
@Jan, I can’t imagine anyone would snicker for you not attending, and if they do, they are really not someone you’d want to spend the 4th with! I think everyone knows by now that T1 puts someone at extra risk and even without the extra risk, getting together with people you are not necessarily familiar with, nor the precautions they themselves take, seems like is risky. I’d probably not attend.
@Jan I hope no one does snicker and if they do, just know you’ve got to do what is right for you.
We are going to my daughters home for the Fourth. Nothing big, six of us … my sister and my daughters family of three. Traditionally this is the day of our huge family reunion. Not this year. And the family reunion on the other side, just as huge, held in August, was cancelled in early June.
Stay safe everyone. My best wishes to all. 
@Jan, I’ve found people are totally understanding when I decline getting together or the offer of a ride or something like that. I don’t exactly feel safe on a streetcar, but I feel a lot safer than I would sitting in a car with someone I don’t live with.
Your event sounds like one I wouldn’t have gone to. Too many people, from too many places, and kids tend to run all over and touch everything. I wouldn’t have been able to settle down and enjoy myself.
But I’m also finding people adapt quickly to different ways of doing things. Canada Day was on Wednesday. Four couples in my condo get together for a potluck every year, and we did the same thing this year. Usually we put a couple of picnic tables together and crowd around it, passing platters. This year we put all the food on one table but we all brought our own plates and cutlery and serving utensils and drinks, and we ate sitting in safely distanced Muskoka chairs. A good time was had by all, though the dynamic wasn’t quite the same as the “old” days.
A few weeks back the condo had a games evening. Croquet, bocce ball, horse shoes, with BYO cocktails and snacks. Lots of bottles of hand sanitizer scattered about. People kept their distance pretty well, and it was a big success after being cooped up for so long. It’s a generally older crowd, though, so people are probably more conscious of staying healthy.
We had debated traveling to see my family (we’ve gone to see them several times over the past few months as my mom is on hospice, so time spent with her is invaluable). In the end we decided we’re exhausted, so we chose to stay home. Good thing, because now several of my family members are sick after possible COVID exposure. 
It’s incredibly hot here this week, so we won’t be having a traditional meal (deferring that until next week when it’s supposed to cool off a tiny bit). There will still be pie, though. 
I have the upmost sympathy for anyone with pets or young children who are scared of fireworks - we have heard fireworks every single night (sometimes as late as midnight) for a week now. Thankfully they haven’t woken our kids, who both have sound machines in their rooms.
My dog used to be bothered, but he’s going deaf and doesn’t even notice!!
Not commenting at all on keeping yourselves safe, because to not do so is rather stupid. But to compare our infection rates you really need to keep in mind how many people live in each country, because 50,000 infections in a country of 400 million isn’t really that many, and with something this infectious and with a country this big, the infections are going to keep happening until someone comes up with vaccine that works or the entire thing is stamped out. When you look at Covid death per million, we aren’t doing too bad.
I completely disagree. Our spiking is a direct result of national and state derelection. We know what causes the spiking, infections and deaths we are seeing but only half the country is talking it seriously. There is no sugar coating the devastation we are seeing right now. And there should be zero self congratulatory kudos. I track what’s going on myself so I know what’s going on.
Too many people saying good job and not enough people actually doing a good job.
I’ve been wondering about taking public transit, but I just can’t imagine feeling safe doing so right now, despite the fact our cases have been low and flat for two months. If everyone wore masks, I’d feel aa lot safer. But masks are just “suggested” on public transit here, and there are reports that many don’t wear them because our numbers are so low. But yeah, eventually I may have no choice but to use public transit.
As for Canada Day, I just stayed in. There were lots of celebrations on social media. I did hear fireworks around 11 pm, but I think they were either broadcast online or perhaps for a drive-in show. There were no in-person events in the city as far as I was aware, and I didn’t even hear any parties (though it was a weird Wednesday holiday, rather than a long weekend, which may have helped).
I’ve taken a few short rides, just in my quiet neighbourhood, and we did go downtown one morning to the big food market (which was practically empty, and they were screening at the entrance, and people were in-and-out rather than dawdling, and no tourists of course). The streetcars were mostly empty, and at that time they still had seats roped off. I think they’re no longer restricting seating, and while masks on public transit are now mandatory, there’s no intention to enforce them, which strikes me as DUMB.
I have to go see my asthma doctor in a week, which will mean a long streetcar ride across town and then a usually crowded bus up to the hospital. I’m seriously considering cancelling, just because of the transit ride.
Same story here. I can’t understand why they would block seats during the lockdown but not now. And although masks are “requested” and “strongly recommended” here, they are not mandatory, so there are people who don’t wear them.
It’s kind of like the airlines starting to sell the middle seat. Things aren’t suddenly safer now than they were back in March, other than the fact that everyone is being more careful. (Though there’s no way I’d set foot inside a plane, regardless of unsold seats, until we have a vaccine.)
Relying on transit definitely makes things tougher during these times. I’d feel much safer if I could drive a car, and if I lived in my own house rather than an apartment building. (I read about an outbreak in a Calgary apartment building this week.)
Thank you for your courageous honesty. I agree 100%. I have chosen to stay indoors this entire holiday w/end bc the Brooklyn NYC crowds in the streets and local parks is crazy and inappropriate behavior is everywhere. Families are out together and their children are running loose everywhere. And this, despite the current mask wearing mandates in the city (fines imposed), when not social distancing is almost completely being ignored.
I would have loved to have been going outside for runs with my husband, but I just don’t feel safe. I would rather be over cautious and healthy than sick, dying, or dead (and possibly transmitting it to others).
Just my 2 cents.
I pray that everyone stays safe and still enjoys the spirit of their holiday weekend! 
Hi @daisymae,
We are not going to fireworks this year because we don’t want to infect anyone.
If you still have them there, can you txt me some video from your phone of some fireworks over the New York cityscape? You sent me a pic last year and it was beautiful.
Hey there Eric,
Our building closed our roof, so no one is able to congregate up there to see the beautiful City skyline. 
But, also, the City is not announcing where they will be shooting off their firework display this year bc they do not want anyone crowding. In fact, the Brooklyn Bridge Park (where I run, and have posted beautiful skyline pictures from) has had enormous signs up for the past 2 weeks announcing that there will NOT be any firework displays on the East River this year. (which makes no sense, bc where else can they shoot off the fireworks???) Obviously the City will b shooting off at least some fireworks, but no one yet knows where they will b coming from. Apparently, they are only planning on showing them by way of television 
Yep, that’s pretty crappy. 
Yup, it stinks. Very sad, especially when MACY*S does such am amazing job of it. Its such a looked-forward-to spectacle.
These are some pics from last years East River Skyline:
(I just learned that this year the fireworks will b shot off from the Empire State Building)
Your graph is misleading because although you show all but two of the countries that have a higher per capita death rate than the US (the ones above us in your graph), you leave out 200 of the countries that are doing better than we are at per capita death rate (the ones below us in your graph). I hope you’ll agree that being in the worst 5% of countries in per capita death from COVID does not seem to be something we should be celebrating.
Furthermore, what worries me now is not the deaths we have experienced so far (horrible as those have been), but the ones that are likely coming. Below is a graph of per capita daily confirmed cases compared to many of the same countries you included. The other countries have by and large flattened their curves and kept them flat. What scares me isn’t even how much higher we are than the other countries - but the fact that our numbers are increasing exponentially.
