ok, so it’s gonna be pouring and kind of cold this weekend, so this will probably get hidden under layers on sunday.
but hey @eric i got myself a race jersey 
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She Elite! 
Yessss!! 
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again i have dropped the ball with formatting detailed logs (as i started using mysugr to track, i stopped writing things down in post format, and so i have better data but somehow keep running out of time at the end of the day to format and post). tl;dr i am still hewing to the program as posted here. today will be my last run before the race.
i used my rest day yesterday (lots of those this week!) to do some guided meditation and light stretching. after reading what @eric shared about cortisol and adrenaline and noodling a bit on it, i decided to put in some dedicated time on the mental side to explore what i’m getting so nervous about out there. in essence i determined that i am adjusting to both the diabetic body (with its lack of pancreatic function), and the “diabetic mindset” (the mindset being new things like insulin or sugars to keep track of, new risks to be prepared for and potentially respond to, anxieties about what i can or can’t do, anxieties about safety on the road or trail… convincing my mind that it can still trust the machine, basically). i have been focusing almost entirely on the physical, and done relatively little dedicated work to address the fairly substantial mental and emotional lift this requires. so since it was a day to rest the body, i used it to exercise my mind. i did a twenty-minute guided practice focusing on where my stress was originating from during runs.
i don’t think i solved anything per se, but hopefully spending more time acknowledging and grappling with these new, diabetes-related concerns will help me come to peace and ease with them, and get out of my own way 
and we had a nice five mile trail walk, too!
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@panda and others - there is a great group called Diabetes Sangha that explores the type 1 mind/body connection through meditation, etc. I discovered them after I had an established meditation practice, but incorporate their work when I see something of interest (you can sign up for their weekly email updates). The people who run the group are the real deal and although I still fight TONS of stress excursions in my blood sugar levels, meditation is an integral part of how I manage my inner (and outer!) peace!
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i am a consummate multitasker and pride myself on being a quick study, so had truly not given any consideration to the scale of mental adjustment this condition really is. i don’t like to slow down or break stride for anything if i can help it, and i can be stubborn and prideful about that. i have been trying basically to just force my body back to “my normal” in some sort of subconscious hope that i wouldn’t have to make mental shifts if i could force the physical to mimic my past closely enough. (this is yielding extremely mixed results to say the least… and i did the same thing when my husband died, it took a lot of therapy to get me to admit that i needed to acknowledge certain areas of myself were hurting. it is a bad personal habit trying to bulldoze through this stuff: the voice in my head just starts telling me to buck up, it could be worse, i have no excuse to fold, to be strong, grit my teeth, and power through it. “be normal”. stiff upper lip, all that. never let them see you cry. )
then i read an article that stated that people with diabetes make on average 185+ extra health decisions every single day compared to someone without the disease!!! hard numbers like that work for my brain: i can accept that number! that’s multiple extra serious life decisions every single hour!!! that’s a lot!!! that’s gotta be totally exhausting!!!.. hey wait a sec they’re talking about ME!!!
my berserker-scream method of tackling the universe often gets me a nice head start with a b@lls-out sprint out the gate, but it can bite me later if i have totally neglected to even acknowledge the additional mental and emotional work i needed to do alongside it. i think that side is starting to catch up to me now, so thank you @JessicaD for the above resource, it’s about to get used a bunch! 
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This is all new stuff for you. It takes a long time to get more comfortable with everything. And it takes a long time to learn to trust your decisions.
That’s the most important thing - trust yourself!
Also, don’t always be second-guessing yourself. You did what you did based on the knowledge you had at the time. Go with it. If it works, great! If it did not work, hopefully you learned something from it, which is also great.
Everything will get back to normal, with the only difference being that you now have a manual pancreas instead of an automatic pancreas.
You can learn to drive a stick-shift instead of the automatic transmission you are used to.
Yes, it takes a long time, but eventually it gets pretty easy.
You are going to be fine. I already know that. I can tell.
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one stride at a time and so much thanks to you all! she ran in her insignia vest today! the official race policy is no dogs, but the organizers cleared us: she normally runs nekkid, but to prevent confusion with other runners about pets she will be in uniform sunday. she just recently got too big for her old one, so i wanted to size this new one and take it for a test drive to make sure she isn’t chafing or whatever. part of this route is along a residential road: we got lots of attention with her all decked out in her work stuff 
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@panda I have some women friends who do really long distance, unsupported bicycles. They have done cross the country (lower 48) and other long rides. They call themselves, “Girls with Grit.” I nominate you and @daisymae to be members.
If I can post here’s one of them doing hill repeats with fully loaded Panniers as she trains for a tour. I wasn’t going to do the repeats, but she I was ashamed and picked up my bike and did 8 repeats. This is from a video. I can’t figure out how to post it so here’s a still.
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wow that is BAD ASS!!! i can dream!!! i think @daisymae is up there, but that’s pretty illustrious company all around… guess i gotta keep working at it! 
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Alright fam! We are just about packed for the weekend. After a wonderful pep talk today from the peerless @eric, the vibe is good and the stoke is high! My mission for the next 36 hours is to drink lots of water, stay relaxed, and get ready to leave it all on the field!!!
And once again thanks to Eric, I have good clarity on my goals for this event, and a couple different ways to measure success.
Goal 1: finish safely (uninjured, good BG control) and smiling (this is supposed to be fun, right?!). This is the most important: safely complete the event, and enjoy it. I have another one in May, so I should finish able and wanting to do it again!
Goal 2: Accomplish #1, plus hit a target time of 1:05ish. This would be extra icing on #1 and a solid time for me.
Goal 3: Accomplish #1, and finish in under an hour. This would be the hit-it-on-all-cylinders outcome and is kind of a reach goal, but would absolutely rock! The pace to hit for this would be 9:40/mile and would be a lifetime 10k PR for me.
Mara and I will be staying with my parents Saturday before we run on Sunday: the race is pretty far from my house, but not too far from theirs, so I will have the advantage of a safe operating base and familial support. My dad also asked me to help him plan the menu for my visit, and he made sure to buy some of my usual snacks, so I feel really good about the chow options I will have the day before the race. My best friend (she’s running with us, we will start together, run our own races, and whoever finishes first wins the prize of playing cheerleader!!!) is picking up my packet for me and will give it to me Sunday morning when we get parked.
Race morning schedule is 5:30 alarm, 6:00 breakfast, 6:30 drive to event (~45min), meet our friend at our reserved parking, stretch and get M to do her bizzness, and the starting gun is at 8:00.
My breakfast (Snoqualmie Falls oatmeal with Penzeys Pie Spice and a dash of golden monkfruit) is packed and just needs a few minutes and some boiling water added to the Thermos.
Our weather forecast has improved and actually looks pretty optimal: overcast, mid to high forties, no precipitation, and basically calm winds. (In other words, no excuses…)
I haven’t ever really actually shot for a time before in an event like this; I usually have signed up for stuff and showed up and more or less seen what happened. I always just ran because I liked it, and races were just sort of a lark. It feels different to come at it with more purpose and intent… I’m excited to bring some focus to bear and aim at specific goals!
Race results and a report on successes (what worked!) and areas for improvement (what didn’t work so good) will come next week.
I truly feel like a little piece of this race belongs to each of you; your collective wisdom and generosity of spirit have given me so many gifts, including the knowledge and faith to tackle this event. We will be holding all of you in our hearts on Sunday. Thank you more than we can say.
HERE WE GOOOOOO!!! 
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She Elites - both you and Mara. We are all rooting for you.
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Good luck!!! 
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2 miles of patience
2 miles of discipline
2 miles of guts
(The last 0.2137 miles is free, because that’s when you see the starting line.)
Go get it!
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Wonderful! You’re ready for all of it-- good luck!
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Good luck on Sunday and have a wonderful time with your parents and friends! We are all cheering for Mara and you!!
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full report to come. just wanted to share our finish photo with y’all! mara even got her own finisher medal.
time 1:05:16
a success, and with room to improve!
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Sweet!
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