DaisyMae Here. Its been a long while since I’ve been in the pool and I havent logged into FUD to do more than read about your experiences, strengths and hopes (which is, actually, A LOT!!! )
two main reasons Ive gone incognito: Terribly painful procedures done on my spine, my back, the steroidal medications Ive trudged through, as well as one of the major changes taking place in my life lately: My Fathers Infirmities which have consumed me and taken hours of time. Everything Ive been going through would easily (but with GREAT challenge) b remedied with a brief 1/2 hour swim, but its simply been too painful to even walk to the pool, and I am using all my energy to care for my father, despite having two sisters who are not cooperative in his health care 
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So distant have the A1c counts been in the low 5%. Last one was 6.7% . Ive stumbled through steroid treatments along with other minor surgeries and medication changes. My BGs have not been too friendly, but a source of frustrations and disappointments. I started out last year with a new endo who I absolutely fell head over heals for. He helped me find relief from my D pitfalls (He is a T1D also with pump and CGM). Unfortunately, he decided to move his practice to California and practice more on the tech end of D treatment and research possibilities. I am still fortunate enough to b staying with my Fave DNP and starting up again with a new endo who ONLY treats T1Ds. I am praying that she can help me to manage all of the illnesses I face along with the medications I must take, etc. All of the Diabetic foes.
SO, WHY NOW DO I COME OUT OF HIDING?
I am exhausted, depressed, in pain (both physical and mental) and just plain old sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time. I NEED to make some major changes in my life and seek out the happiness and courage i left behind somewhere when I started having to care for my father. I was putting myself second, and if i do not take better care of myself, I am of little use to him. There has been a great wave of depression that has washed over me in the past 9 or so months. I just want to pull down the shades and hide in the dark and cry.
I am certain that bc of all of the BG highs and lows of the daily rollercoaster ive been on have contributed to my emotional state of being, The steroids have been my biggest medical challenge as far as D management goes. From one day to the next, I have not had much stability with my BGs. One day they’re high, and the next day i am battling lows. And those lows have been as hard to manage as the highs ever were. But I let yesterday go behind me, and press toward the future with prayers, hopes and dreams. Utterly exhausting.
My father requires 24/7 attention. I have been blessed that I can financially provide him with the asisstance that he needs for most of each day. But despite having a private nurse, a PT therapist, and a team of medical doctors, I have been his one connection to the outside world that he can sit and share time with and that he doesnt have to be bed bound. We can talk, we can smile, we can have lunches and dinners together. Its very challenging though as he is going deaf but refuses to acknowledge that he must wear hearing aides, so every conversation is a screaming match :
. His main concerns are “what are we going to eat for (bfast, lunch, dinner, etc), what’s on TV…can we go outside today (hes in a wheelchair), can you bring me this or that, can you cut my hair, can you give me a pedicure…..? “ And recently, he’s become at the beginning stages of dementia. Sometimes he doesnt recognize me, he gets confused easily, and as the days become nights, his personality starts to change from an old aging man to that of a small belligerent child, screaming, demanding, blaming.
One of the things that I find most difficult to live with is that growing up my father was always my hero. He was strong and smart and athletic. He made life fun and exciting. He was at every sports game i played in on the sidelines with a camera, rooting me on. He wouold take me and my two younger sisters to Central Park on weekends and we would go to the Bronx Zoo to ride on the camels. In the winters we would go ice skating and sleigh riding and get cups of fresh hot coco at Rumplemeiers (no longer there). We would go to McDonalds and Dairy Queen and Papaya King, and to Juniors for cheesecake. He would take us to “grown-up” Restaurants and treat us like adults. He taught me how to throw a football, a baseball, how to swim and how to run. He bought us balloons and salted pretzels with mustard in the park. We would buy roasted peanuts and feed them to the elephants in the zoo. My dad made life exciting and grande and wonderful. And when he was still working (in an office) he took great pride in how he dressed himself. He was a Dapper Dandy 
Every year for his birthday, I would buy him a tie from Bloomingdales or SAks Fifth Avenue, and he would wear those ties with pride and telll me how he wore this one or that one to the office and how he got so many compliments “Hiya George, what a gorgeous tie you are wearing!” I was always so proud to have him be my father. Now he is limited to sweat pants and tops, has to wear a colostomy bag with a tube coming out of his body hanging by his side. He wears diapers, those compression socks and supportive stability shoes, gets seat-belted into his wheelchair and rolled around the house or around the block in his neighborhood. The parent and the child have switched roles.
So thats what’s been going on and what Ive been doing with my time. I would love to hear back from any and/or all of you. Certainly I am not the only one who has had to care for an aging parent or spouse. Certainly, I am not the only diabetic who has to have been on steroids while struggling to manage blood sugars. I am hoping to start up swimming again in the late Fall. It may not b as much as it had been, but it will b more than nothing at all. I welcome all suggestions and your shared experiences, your hope, strength and prayers ALL the Best,
DM. 
I don’t have direct experience supporting an aging parent, but my dad and one of my best friends have gone through this. My grandma and my friend’s dad both had some dementia too. It’s not easy at all to be a caretaker… I always tried to remind them that it’s normal to feel exhausted and sad and not to be able to do it all.
Thanks for sharing so openly. You’ve been carrying so much, and it’s amazing how strong and loving you’ve been for your dad while also managing your own health.