@Josie Thanks for the reminders you have provided, and the balance. BTW, You can change your glucose goal range on OP5 controller - it is under settings and right below reminders. I’ve put mine back to 70-150 on both clarity and controller, but probably not hugely relevant. Though I ultimately want to aim for good TIR in the 70-140 range. It was probably just a bunch of coincidence between OP5 behavior and my changing that last Friday. I suspect that after my reset and starting with more aggressive settings, as opposed to when I first got on it, it is closer to my needs at this 4-pods-in point than before. I am much happier with the OP5 since reset, so something happened to help.
And so relevant to your post here: I think I am making myself crazy with all of this and I have just gotten to the point of realizing I am sort of grasping at straws in search of perfection. Instead of immersing myself in so much of my own previous data and scrambling to get all my questions answered (and they are infinite!), I need to regroup and remember that OP5 is now doing better than I did for myself on MDI and that merging these two data bases of knowledge in my head when they are different beasts, to me anyway, is just using up too much of my time. I could follow the rabbit hole for a long time.
But, with your kind chiming in, I feel confident that I can just master automated and relax a bit. I found this site and just love that people can live so much better with technology than perhaps the corporations can grant, (through looping and finesse of manual, and now I am grateful to know it is there. But, my learning of just diabetes in general, and responses to the changes that can happen that are most healthy, needs to give me a good foundation before I waste time experimenting when I don’t even understand basics. I am, for instance, getting great help for how to exercise with diabetes. And now I can ask all the questions that my NP at the endo only seems to have generic, conservative answers for, or just admits not much is known (but in community, much is actually known). So, I am giving myself permission to slow down and try to live with all the unknowns, back off of anxious pursuit of immediate answers, and learn what works for me. Just knowing there is room to change-up how to do things in the future, if desired, is hopeful, but my enthusiasm to jump right in, just got me in over my head and I will slow down and master the steps before trying to leap over the whole ladder.
Your timing here is perfect and I am so glad you offered your perspective. It supports the notion that it is okay to use automated, especially as I learn how to pump, what interactions the ratios and settings have, and their results, and how best to use the pump. Then, I have room to grow into manual use and even looping. And I have time to absorb all of this knowing that I was surely ignorant of when I started the pump. I do love knowing how others handle their diabetes, so all of this is just such a giant leap from my previously limited world to draw from. Oh - I also discovered the Juicebox podcast, and love it, but I also have to limit myself on jumping into some of the bold with insulin stuff. Sometimes I am too fearless (read - ignorant) until I am dangerous and the can become fearful. Pausing and patience and assimilating is a better approach for me, and not my natural way. But I want to live and live fearlessly! 2.5 years in is really still not much time. Thanks so very much for offering your perspective. I definitely hear you and you have helped me. I hope you have a great day!
Laura