I’m hopeful you can get back to swimming one day soon.
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Oh my gosh @daisymae! I’m doubling up on prayers and positive energy for you. I just can’t imagine the pain you were in during the procedure. Why can’t they give their patients medicine to help get them through these types of procedures or even put to to sleep, that twilight stuff even. Sigh.
Your a1c is amazing, especially given all of the stress your body has gone through! Congratulations!
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Oh Gosh, have to tell you that first of all, I love that Twilight stuff. I’ve had it on some longer procedures (mostly dental and gastro stuff) and it TRULY works like magic.
You’d think that they could do the same for these procedures, but all they tell you is to take a “sleeping pill” like Valuum before hand so that “you can feel relaxed.” Well, I already take Klonopin daily, and before the procedure, popped back two 2mgs of them. DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to relax me at all. What a shame, huh?! Idiots. 
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@daisymae - my 2c on pain management and any procedures for you going forward – if possible, be your strongest, most take-no-BS patient advocate (for yourself) and insist on at the very least “twilight” medication. You have been through true trauma with procedures recently that were supposed to HELP and instead were the most painful of your life to go through AND left you with no relief. Insist on bringing an anesthesiologist into the conversation; just insist that you are no going to go through any more procedures without sedation. It is unfair to your physical and mental health. You do not deserve to go through that again and your drs should not put you through it. (Maybe also have a conversation with your pain mgmt specialists about this so they can be helpful if this comes up again, too?) I have been through stuff like this before and it is tough to stand tough, but think of your body like you would a friend’s and don’t let her go through this again. :). xoxo
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My goodness am I trying! Yesterday I saw the pain management specialist again. He increased my Percocet dosage strength. He also prescribed medical massages through licensed professionals and to try some PT again if I can tolerate it. I was referred to the head of orthoscopic surgery for assessment (NYU Langone) And he specializes in minimally invasive spinal surgery, so I am setting up an appointment to get his opinion for going forward. (I have 3 other surgeons lined up to check out as well.) Trying to be as thorough as possible. If I do go the surgery route, I will DEFINATELY have anesthesia and NOT just Twilight!!!
Also, my psychopharmacologist increased my anti-depressant a little bit with the hopes that it will relieve some of my depression and stress which he believes could be a contributing factor in how my body is responding to pain.
fingers crossed. 
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Just a PS:
yesterday I took the newly increased dosage of the antidepressant, and either the Starbucks lady gave me regular espresso and not the decaf ( I typically get 6 shots!), or the antidepressant gave me terrible heart palpitations and racing crazy thoughts, I couldn’t sit still for the rest of the day. Felt like I was going absolutely nuts and had to take more Klonopin just to get back to status quo.
But it was such a tiny dosage increase of the antidepressant, I am leaning in the direction that Starbucks made the horrid mistake (I have absolutely TERRIBLE reactions to caffeine.)
Also, I kept going low all day long, so I had to force myself to eat these beyond just awesome freshly baked dark chocolate chip cookies 
Absolute torture 
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Starbucks caffeinated my wife recently as well, so that would my guess. We try to only go to small shops where we know the barristas and they are very good about ensuring my wife gets the correct order. Damn she is a handful on caffeine. She has been banned from every coffee pot at every workplace she has ever worked at. People have a hard time with my east coast wife when she starts spitting out orders at 100 miles an hour.
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My husband feels the same way!! 
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PAIN RELIEF, AND UPDATE:
I know that this is not much info to go on, but I thought I would finally take the chance to share some good news with all of you. My specialist incresed the dosage of my Percocet from 2 5mg every 4-6 hours to 2 7.5mgs every 4-6 hours. I have been almost entirely pain free for 3 days in a row now. I have been able to remove the icepacks, sit comfortably in my chair, walk in my neighborhood, and am considering beginning to do the PT stretching exercises this afternoon.
I am praying that this relief lasts!!!
DM
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Well that is really good news @daisymae, get some normalcy back and if you do need to go for surgery, now you can make the decision from a better manageable pain place. Fingers crossed for you.
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So I should probably get a refund for the deposit I put down on doing the Iron Man competition scheduled for next week…
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Tell your back surgeon that you just completed an Iron Man and record the reaction. It should be priceless.
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I’m glad you are getting some relief. it continues.
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PROMISED TO KEEP YOU UP-TO-DATE:
On this Monday, June 21st, I am going into the NYU Langone Hospital for current sets of X-rays and a consult with their “top” spinal surgeon. I am hoping that he can come up with an optimistic plan for my future and that he will be able to do something, ANYTHING, that will bring me pain relief.
I dont know what to expect, and I feel anxious about it. Almost like he won’t have a potential solution and I’ll be stuck living with the pain I’ve been in.
Will, as always, continue to keep you posted. Please keep me in your prayers!!!
signing out,
DM
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I hope your appt goes well, @daisymae. As always, praying for you! 
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DAY OF SURGERY CONSULT:
Extreme disappointment. Went to see the spinal surgeon this morning. I had some wild X-rays taken before our consultation; never had anything quite like them before. Went inside rather narrow/cramped machine, kind of like an MRI except standing straight up. It scanned my entire body from tip to top. (then was followed by 8 more standard X-rays.)
Doctor proposed several surgical options (spinal fusion was one) but made it very clear that what I have is degenerative, and that it will only progress as I age, so that no matter what is performed, it will not be lasting and as well, it may not even help. There was also a surgery option that would possibly help relieve the hip pain (which is being caused by my spinal stenosis), but that would only be a quick fix as well, and that the potential for complications far outweigh the positive opportunities.
The surgeon recommended that I continue to treat my pain without surgery but rather pain management (pain medication, as I am already on, and as much PT as I can handle which would strengthen my core muscles and give more support to my spine and the back muscles themselves. As well as deep tissue medical/professional massage. (fortunately, I have a local place to go for this which is stellar.)
I feel absolutely miserable. Disheartened, despairing, frustrated beyond measure, and feeling like I should start drinking some serious amounts of Tequila and get obliterated ( and this is coming from someone who never drinks alcohol!!! 
) Of course, this is not an option, as I am taking large and strong doses of opiates at the moment, and the combo would probably put me into some kind of overdose and only make matters much more serious. I did, however, take my Percocet an hour earlier than usual bc of all of the pain I am in (the surgeon made me do all of these very physically stressful exercises during my visit to test my strength).
So my solution to avoid the Tequila was simple: I went out for my favorite double-decker grilled Gruyere cheese sandwich and a double chunk/fudge dark chocolate chip cookie with my loving husband as soon as we got back to Brooklyn. (I over-bolused, and just went a bit low, so I had to force myself to eat more of the cookies; it was just torture )
I dont know where I will go from here, yet. I have 3 other surgeons I might consult with. I havent really digested the info I got today, so this may take some time. But I know that if another surgeon shares the same opinions as this one did, I will probably avoid all invasive surgery and accept what I have to deal with as is. I am definitely going to try and get back into the swimming pool ASAP; the local pool has re-opened, however it is by appointment only and apparently the appointments are extremely hard to get, and you are only allowed to swim for 30 minutes each time. But I am praying and trying to trust in God that I will have the strength and courage to manage my circumstances as they are. What can I do besides practice acceptance? I have kind of run out of other options.
Anyhow, thats all the news thats fit to print for today. I am just waiting to hear back from my pain management specialist and see what he makes of all of this. And, as always, I will keep you posted.
signing out,
DM
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Sorry you didn’t get a viable surgical option that would get you back into the fight without the pain medicine. Glad the surgeon gave you the pro’s and con’s and expected relief window. Too many just focus on the pro’s. Do try and process it. It takes time with complicated issues. Maybe you could use your current condition to weasel a full hour of swimming out of the pool?
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This is not what I expected to hear either but as Chris said, it is best to hear both pros and cons, and I know you appreciate that as well.
I’m glad you enjoyed an outing for a delicious grilled cheese (yum!) and cookie. And really glad you are making plans to return to the pool. Yes, I agree, try Chris’ suggestion to get a full hour of swimming in. Maybe there are some less crowded times when you can book a full hour, too. I know you were used to swimming 2+ hours and hopefully now that things are opening back up you’ll be able to return to longer swims.
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Thanks guys. I know that my Y has reopened the regular gym, and I am not certain what the exact social distancing/mask wearing regulations are, but I think that this is probably a good sign that the pool should be re-opening sooner rather than later.
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