EXPERIMENT IN A NEW LIFESTYLE # 1:
i joined FUD almost a year ago (MAY 2017). when i joined, i had been D for almost 30 years. i had went on the pump about 17 years ago, but knew little about all the great things i could do with it.
i was scared of going high or low, so i would eat relatively the same foods at the same times of day, every day just to feel in control over my BGs. i didnt experiment. i stayed stuck, fearful of losing what i percieved as “control” over my numbers.
i had learned a little bit about my body and how i responded to certain foods. so i considered those foods “safe” foods. i took relatively no chances to go outside of the box, and whenever presented with eating out at a restaurant or at a family’s home, i would be in a panic, obsessed about how much insulin to give myself, whether to do a dual bolus or not, and, if i did, how much up front, for how long, etc. i was living in a nightmare of my own making. not the greatest way to live, that’s for certain.
then i was pursued by eric to come over from TuD to FUD. my life began to change almost immediately. this was the site of the UNLIMITED. it took me a while to understand what that meant exactly, but i began to catch on by reading all the threads i could as well as all of the posts. i saw people daring to dare their own D. to take real “control” of managing their disease as well as having fun at the same time. i was in shock. this didnt seem possible to me. i thought that most of you were a little wonky; it took me a while to learn to trust in others experiments with food and bolusing, exercise, success, joy of living, comfortable making “mistakes” (and then learning from them).
I read about all these members exercising and how they negotiated their pump setting, or their MDI injections. i learned about temp basals and how to navigate my own way so that i could begin a swimming regiment that worked for me.(i have always loved to swim.)
my previous endo was of NO help whatsoever when it came to making a successful exercise routine and keeping my BGs managable. it was at this point that i turned to all of you…mostly to eric. (and, i did some research and got myself a new endo.)
i wont bore you with all of my trials and tribulations. you’ve probably read about most of them on my swimming thread. But, i would like you to know how different my life is today than i could have ever imagined in my wildest dreams:
first, i set goals for myself. then i took instructions, suggestions, encouragement, congratulations for my efforts. then i began taking risks i was terrified to make. let me repeat that: i took risks that i was terrified to make. for about 6 months, i faced numerous “learning” experiments that did not work out the way i wanted them to, but taught me what didn’t work. so i began modifying my regiment. one little bit at a time. and with all of your guys encouragement, i persevered, despite my fears and my frustrations.OMG, things started taking shape.
then, i moved on to changing my diet to help me get the most out of my swims. great success was approaching. i could see it. i could believe in it. i could trust in it. i had proof.
the daring i put into my swimming experiements, i began putting into my life. i started feeling very comfortable taking risks with food, with bolusing, with the things that did not work out the way i wanted them to, but racking those up to learning tools for the next time i faced a confusing situation. i learned what it took to go out to a burger joint and eat a burger with a bun, fries, and guacamole and chips. this took many experiments, but the burger was so good that i was willing to figure out what i needed to. then i moved on to pizza, chinese food. then restaurants. then family meals.
i realized that everything i did that didnt go exactly the way that i wanted it to go could **always be corrected:**not enough insulin, take more insulin; too much insulin, enjoy some carbs. OMG, was i starting to have fun with food.
AND THATS WHERE I AM TODAY: FREE FROM THE BONDAGE OF FEAR:
I AM TRULY UNLIMITED AND MY A1c came down to 4.9%
i am happy, i am healthy, and i am courageous. and i am over the moon with joy.
I TRULY HOPE THAT THIS HELPS EVEN JUST ONE PERSON WHO IS STRUGGLING.
DARE TO DARE.