I went to my endo this morning, and as I sat in her office, looking at all of the generic diabetes stuff plastered on the walls and coming through the TV, I thought about you guys.
I don’t have spectacular numbers to report. I’ve gained 6 pounds and my a1c has gone from a 5.8 to a 6.2, but I’m happy. I’m happy because I know what to do, and I know it better than my doctor. Not the general stuff. She can have that. I’m talking about my own numbers. I’m talking about specifics that I shouldn’t expect her to know (because how could she possibly?), yet I have always trusted she did. Today was different. Today I realized, because of what I have here, I am my own bridge to better control. I don’t need her for my numbers, I need her for my meds. I’ve grown. I guess that’s what I’m saying, and I just wanted to thank you all.
Things I heard in this appointment:
About my 6 lb weight gain, she said it’s, “probably because you’re doing more insulin.” That’s what my dear endo said today. I was also told that 15 years ago. That’s incorrect. I’m glad I know it’s incorrect because what would be coming next is a subconscious plan to reduce insulin. I don’t need less insulin. I need to stop eating the crap that requires more of it.
In response to my request for a Levemir prescription, I was told, “no.” Why? Because I am going to like Tresiba more. I explained to her I’ve been using the Levemir, that I’ve worked out a really great schedule, and that I like it. She handed me a couple of samples and said, “you’ll like this more.” “Levemir doesn’t work,” she said and went on to talk studies about efficacy and the drastic improvement that has come with Tresiba. My numbers and my voice were lost in this. I don’t need the study to tell me what was working for me.
About MDI, I don’t want you doing that. Let’s get you back on a pump.
About IM injections… this question she managed just to dodge completely. I asked her whether or not she had any recommendations or guidelines and gave her a quick idea of what I’d be using it for, and in response she gave me a Correction Factor Sliding Scale to be used prior to meals. One unit for a BG of 120-150, 2 for 151-180, and so on up to 6 units for a BG of 271… It’s a cool trick, but now I know better. It’s a fish where you all are teaching me how to fish.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t ever need 6 units at a BG of 271, I’m not saying Tresiba isn’t better, I’m not saying a pump isn’t a more manageable strategy, (I AM saying insulin didn’t cause my weight gain, but anyway); I’m not arguing what’s best. I’m just thanking you guys for helping me become an independent thinker. Because it’s the Matrix out there, and I’m bustin’ free.