I land a LOT of my stuff poorly… the trick is to just not look back. 
ONWARD!
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`:joy:
:joy
Oh, that’s funny…
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YES! This is exactly what I envision in @Eric’s daily life!
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Thank you for your cheerleading. 
I actually had to come back and look for it today. I hve been taking some HITS.
I wish I had more upbeat stuff to come around with, but I don’t, so I won’t waste time trying. Your words are good though. I’ve never had a group before when things started going sideways, and I’m lucky to have you guys…If for nothing but the laughs and accountability. 
I’d be in sabotage mode right now if it weren’t for FUD. 
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So I’m just checking in. It’s getting more and more tempting to hide… indefinitely… but i’m fighting it.
My hips are complete crap. I’m going to stop saying they’re “locked up” because they’re not locked up. They are either injured, or there is something else causing this (I’m guessing spine or tailbone). I’ve been going out for walks, and even those hurt and feel like they might be causing problems. I’ve also been jumping on my mini-trampoline, the only exercise that doesn’t hurt very badly, but with every jump I worry if what I’m doing is helpful or harmful.
@Eric, i’ve been lying low. Trying to avoid eye contact. I don’t know what to say. The “pain specialist” (crook) I saw last week called today… or his front desk did… in response to my request to pick up a prescription for PT. The front desk lady told me the doctor would like me to schedule an appointment to see him… to discuss the medical necessity of PT. Which is odd. Because I saw him last week. To discuss my hips. Hobbled in. Hobbled out. And was told I would receive an injection. For them. So… where in all of that should I have to come in for another appointment to discuss medical necessity?? I told her, politely (because she’s just the messenger after all), that I won’t be returning to see him. Ever. I’ll get my script from somewhere else.
So I now I have to go somewhere else.
I do see the sports medicine guy next Tuesday. I’m not looking forward to it or expecting anything from it. And I did get through to the UVA people and have made an appointment for end of September. Wrote it down on my calendar… right next to my 5k. 
I decided earlier today that enough was enough and I was just going to go for a run. Got on the treadmill and made it a tenth of a mile before I decided that this was just not the way it was going to work. There’s been a lot of hard “not everything is mind over matter” lessons over the last couple of weeks, and I’d like them to stop. I ended up doing minute intervals, alternating between walking and not walking (can’t call that running either) for 10 minutes. It took 7 of them before the pain let up. I am not sure why I even did them in the first place except that I also know why I did them in the first place… it has to do with that part of my personality that is stubborn, hard headed, and completely lacking in common sense.
The only good news… and I am being very careful not to really let it feel like it’s anything at all… is that I am not in more pain now than I was before the treadmill. I was sure I was going to set myself back and not be able to cross the room this evening. But right now it’s kind of at no harm no foul…
That’s all I’ve got. I’m not particularly happy about the way some of this is unfolding, but that’s life. I’ll just have to work a little harder to solve this. In the meantime, I’m going to gather whatever exercise I have available to keep getting something in, and I guess I’ll repeat the minute intervals until something gets worse. And I’m just going to have to really… I don’t know… self-advocate at these upcoming appointments. Something’s obviously wrong, and someone has to be able to figure it out. And about the race… I’ve begun looking ahead and preparing myself for the fact I might not be able to resume training like I was doing it. But, pardon my language, come hell or high water, I’m running that race at the end of September (it’s just mind over matter). 
I can do that. Everything I do between now and then is just building. It was supposed to be my first race anyway. Not my only one.
I’ve been putting out one downer post after another around here. Except for that tofu one. That one just made me sad on the inside. Because tofu’s gross, but my mom is going to make me eat it anyway.
Off to correct a blood sugar…
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Oh Nicky, just know that even if you never walked another step, we would be here waiting for you. Many of us keyboard warriors don’t have the running bug, but are glad you do.
Seriously, I hope you get the hip thing worked out, that sounds horrible.
Finally, Tofu isn’t that bad, unless it is prepared poorly, in which case it is nearly inedible. Which is when you should just eat a damn grass fed bison steak and call it good. (More iron than beef liver, and very tasty)
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DN,
I am sorry about what you are going through.
I just sent you a PM with a map in it. There a tons of places you can go.
You can call your endo for a prescription. You and your endo are on good terms, right? Maybe even ask for a prescription to an orthopedist.
Hobbling through your workouts is not the right way to go right now. And I don’t think your sports medicine guy is the right way to go either. You’ve been to him, and you already told me he is not supportive of you. Why go back?
Can you do me one favor, please. Call the PT places I told you about. Talk to a few of them. After you have done that, call your endo and ask for a script.
That is the best thing for you to do right now.
One goal this week, one workout for you, okay? Either get a script for PT, or an appointment with a doctor (a different one). That is it, nothing else.
Everything else you are doing is not going to help. Little runs on the treadmill might be helpful for you mentally, but they are not fixing the problem, and they are not making it better. They might even make it worse.
You need to pour yourself into finding a therapist or doctor that can help you get better. That is what your focus needs to be.
When you wake up Tuesday morning, and you start doing something, ask yourself, “Is this getting me closer to a doctor, or therapist, or script?” If it is not, stop yourself and re-direct.
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I don’t know what to say to that. That was really, really nice. Thank you, Chris. 
But tofu is nasty. I saw you try to slip that in. But it’s still nasty, even after a bunch of very nice words. 
And I would have a lot to write about… if I never walked another step. Even more than usual.
Okay, so I got that before I read your message. As soon as I saw it, I went and emailed my endo and asked for a script. Tomorrow I’ll call a local one and see what I can do. Thank you for sending me the map… and the reminder… again.
I don’t know why. Because he’s here, he’s available, he’s a runner, and I want someone to get to the bottom of this. He’s been my doctor through a couple of very big surgeries, including brain surgery, and has helped me get it together again. I have an appointment Friday, not Tuesday, so I’ll go lay it out for him. If he doesn’t think he can help, then I won’t go back. Obviously. I’m going to go in and try to explain to him what I want, what I am able to do as far as my availability for in-office visits, and what I need. I’m not particularly hopeful, and I don’t expect much…
I won’t come back till I have…
And I have the nerve block coming up. Finally. Tomorrow I’ll get this part done though. Or you’ll never hear back from me that I haven’t.
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Okay. I’ve gotten through to the PT place… for Friday afternoon. So now I have the sports medicine guy Friday morning and then early evening with the new PT place… the one you suggested I call. It feels like overkill, but I figured I would just hit them both and see what they have to say.
I haven’t heard from my endo… which is unusual. I’ve also been waiting to hear back on my a1c AND—most importantly— my BG at lab draw. I brought my meters that day, and I’ve been very excited to see how they did up against it.
I’m off to call and harass my endo.
What do you think about jumping?? You think it’s okay to bounce for 20 or 30 minutes just for my mental well-being??
And I’ll also go ahead and tell you my predicament and see if you have anything to say about it… Pull up a chair. This is going to take a minute.
I see a specialist next week who will be performing a nerve block where I have my largest tailbone cyst. The cyst is a Tarlov cyst, and there are few specialists who know anything about them. This guy, now 83 years old, filled mine 10 years ago with fibrin glue. Unfortunately, they no longer perform the procedure, or I would just do it again. He is now partially retired and only hangs around to help people like me who continue to have problems with their cysts. I’m sure the money has a little something to do with it, too, but we didn’t get into that part. I have 3 cysts, all in locations that could be causing my symptoms, between my S1 and S2. I also have an impingement and something else (can’t recall) at L2-L3 and L5. He’s not sure what’s what, so he’s systematically going to block them all and consider the results.
And he’s 83. I think I mentioned that. He IS the right guy, and I do want to complete this process with HIM. However, in order to determine whether or not the nerve block worked, I need to know that it alleviated pain… which means I NEED to be in pain. Stupidest predicament in the world because OBVIOUSLY my goal is not to be in pain, but I also have this problem, and that is I want to be able to complete this testing with this particular doctor before it’s no longer an option. Very few neurologists understand Tarlov cysts, so this is a very big deal.
I wish I could’ve had the test last week, the week before, today… but the longer I stay away from running, the better I’m going to be in time for the test. Does this make any sense at all??? I want to be better. I want to be bad enough to have it mean something.
Stupidest predicament in the world.
Does ANYONE have any suggestions on how to handle this situation?? (I’m holding my breath).
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I just tried to call you because, um…not gonna even try to respond to that in a post. I kinda know what you mean, I think.
You know how to get in pain. But I can’t say it’s a good idea though, because I don’t know if it makes it worse every time you do that.
Also can’t make a recommendation on jumping, because I do not know if that will make it worse or not. It’s using different muscle groups than running. It’s not high impact, so it might be okay, but I don’t know what is causing your injury. If it is just a spinal problem or a hip problem or a combination. You need to see a doctor who is a “big picture” guy. I hope your old guy is able to do that.
I am glad you are seeing a new PT also. Give them all the details you have shared. It isn’t just a local problem they need to look at. They should spend 80% of the time listening to you, and 20% treating.
Could you please not candycoat everything? Please?
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You know by now, I don’t candycoat anything. Besides, this is a diabetes forum. No candy for you. 
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Okay so I can’t get a script for PT before Friday. Speaking of a troubled medical system. Pain Specialist says I need to make another appointment with him to discuss medical necessity (and I’m going to go TP his office), and my endo has not responded because she’s been out of town this week. She’ll be back Monday.
I’ll call the PT guy tomorrow and explain the situation. I imagine he won’t meet with me until I have script in hand. I still see sports medicine guy Friday morning.
Jumped on the trampoline today for 40 minutes… RPE around 3. Fun factor, which has never been asked of me before, was about 7.5. Still hobbling… like the King of the Hill grandpa, I was told. 
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Today… and I know better than to count my chickens when there’s still enough time in the day for terrible things to unfold… has been a very good day. I now have 4 things lined up to solve my hip problems. And I have no doubts that one of them can.
I talked to my new physical therapist about tomorrow and the fact I couldn’t get a script, prepared to cancel. In Virginia, however, one can go to physical therapy for up to 30 days before providing a script. I never knew that, and after all the blasting of the medical system I’ve done, it was really nice to hear. So tomorrow I have TWO people who are going to hear a long and painful blow by blow account of this hip nonsense. I’m going to listen to you, Eric, and take my time and get it all out. I tried to run today, because that side of my brain won, but I couldn’t go more than 3 steps so I have all the pain I need for tomorrow.
WHICH brings me to that “predicament” and the other part of my good day. The running clinic called today because of some miscommunication, and I got to talk to them a little bit about my problem with concern over testing when there is no pain. That’s that predicament you made me sound crazy for having… and don’t say you didn’t. Anyway, the guy knew all ABOUT the predicament and said many of their people come in there with the exact same concern. I’m scheduled for September 24 or 25th or something, so he said to hang back from running for another couple of weeks and then to start back slow. They don’t want me limping, but they do want me semi-back in the swing of things.
So, Eric… thoughts?? Does that make any sense to you?? And are you able to help me figure out a way to do that?
… and now back over to my other thread where very kind people are helping me chase down some good overnight settings… who needs a good medical system when you can just swing through here?
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Yeah, it makes sense. You want pain for the meeting.
I think you should try small runs a few times a week. If you are feeling pain, you don’t need to continue. If there is no pain, run again the next day and see if it comes back. You really only need pain the day of the meeting, so get to a point where you can see how much of a run leads to pain. You have a few weeks to try it. Just small runs as a check every few days.
I am pretty sure all I said was that I needed to talk to you about it instead of trying to respond in a post.
Lemme check…
Yep, that’s what I said 
.
It was a joke. I knew what a ridiculous thing it was to begin with… and an even more ridiculous plan. Only joking with you…it kills me to not have body language available. More smiley faces it is. 
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Putting some quick info in here since I saw both the sports medicine guy AND physical therapist yesterday… and, of course, with the exception of some light limping, was able to get in and out effortlessly—- leaving me to try to convince them I was ever in pain in the first place. Because of course. But I said this was going to be quick info, and I’m off to a rocky start…
Sport med guy says he doesn’t think this is from my back, Nicky, what is wrong with you, and why do you continue to push through pain, I never said you couldn’t run, but this is bad, and we need to let you heal, strengthen, and build. He gave me two exercises to do 3 reps of two twice a day. Wants to start small… and by yesterday evening, I had already forgotten one. He’d like to see me once a week and said I can certainly just do the work at home between meetings. He also did his exam and said he doesn’t think it has to do with any kind of stress fractures and could absolutely have been caused by running. Through pain. He has known me for 8 years and knows a little more about my history and personality flaws than guy number 2.
Guy number 2, PT guy, takes information for first 20 minutes, gives exam, and ALSO says he doesn’t think this is from my back. Sports med guy never said what he thought it WAS exactly, and PT guy seemed to think it was ALL a possibility… said he could tell my IT band (is that right?) was affected because there was pain when he would make it slide back and forth, could be hip pointers, AND that the bursa was definitely a possibility. Inflammation was a thing, and he thought maybe I just wasn’t letting it heal before getting back to activity. He wants to see me 3 times a week, no take home exercises, and his plan includes weight work like dead lifts and such.
Both agree no running right now. Both agree no race on the 22nd. Both agree they’re going to get me to where I need to be so that I can do all the races my little heart desires. And that jumping is possibly fine right now.
I didn’t tell them about each other… not really sure why not 
… and I didn’t mention the running clinic in late September… not sure why not … but clinic guy wants me to get back to running in a couple of weeks. So I’m going to have to be telling someone something soon, and really sooner than that because, if not, I might be sabotaging their efforts inadvertently. Which is a thing I do, unfortunately.
I have 4 appointments scheduled for next week. I’m walking (sports med guy isn’t sure i should be) today and jumping. PT guy didn’t give me any restrictions beyond no running…
Oh, sports med guy wants me to get into the pool… i’m actually a very good swimmer, and he just doesn’t understand why I haven’t tapped into that yet. That’s a complicated mess. @daisymae, I think I’m coming your way…
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swimming is wonderful for all parts of your body, mind and spirit. it doesnt put tension on anything, it just strengthens your muscles. i love it b/c it gets me into a meditative state of mind and i find that very relaxing. i listen to my breaths, in and out, in and out, in and out.
i wouldnt say i am a very good swimmer by any stretch, but i do enjoy myself, and swimming for almost 2 hours a day cant do anything but benefit me. its been a real challenge to work out a formula with my pump (and now my Dexcom) to be able to stay as flat as possible and to not spike or crash.( both have happened in the past year, but obviously, i am still breathing, so i am doing well )
i highly recommend it. good luck with your injuries. i hope you heal ASAP!!!
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My mom reminds me every single day…
Every single day…
This, too,
And she’s coming for me now. Which I’m mostly happy about except I still have no idea how to handle the pump. I have a waterproof bag that I’m going to strap on for today, but I’d love to not have to spend my entire swim worrying about this. Is there a simple starter approach… just a simple strategy to start with if I would like to disconnect and get in for a 30 minute run? Or, I guess… since I know how to disconnect my pump… do you have any kind of general advice or anything you’ve learned over the last year that might be good to keep in mind going in?
And how are you feeling today? I should’ve started with that. Sorry. 