So I’m just checking in. It’s getting more and more tempting to hide… indefinitely… but i’m fighting it.
My hips are complete crap. I’m going to stop saying they’re “locked up” because they’re not locked up. They are either injured, or there is something else causing this (I’m guessing spine or tailbone). I’ve been going out for walks, and even those hurt and feel like they might be causing problems. I’ve also been jumping on my mini-trampoline, the only exercise that doesn’t hurt very badly, but with every jump I worry if what I’m doing is helpful or harmful.
@Eric, i’ve been lying low. Trying to avoid eye contact. I don’t know what to say. The “pain specialist” (crook) I saw last week called today… or his front desk did… in response to my request to pick up a prescription for PT. The front desk lady told me the doctor would like me to schedule an appointment to see him… to discuss the medical necessity of PT. Which is odd. Because I saw him last week. To discuss my hips. Hobbled in. Hobbled out. And was told I would receive an injection. For them. So… where in all of that should I have to come in for another appointment to discuss medical necessity?? I told her, politely (because she’s just the messenger after all), that I won’t be returning to see him. Ever. I’ll get my script from somewhere else.
So I now I have to go somewhere else.
I do see the sports medicine guy next Tuesday. I’m not looking forward to it or expecting anything from it. And I did get through to the UVA people and have made an appointment for end of September. Wrote it down on my calendar… right next to my 5k.
I decided earlier today that enough was enough and I was just going to go for a run. Got on the treadmill and made it a tenth of a mile before I decided that this was just not the way it was going to work. There’s been a lot of hard “not everything is mind over matter” lessons over the last couple of weeks, and I’d like them to stop. I ended up doing minute intervals, alternating between walking and not walking (can’t call that running either) for 10 minutes. It took 7 of them before the pain let up. I am not sure why I even did them in the first place except that I also know why I did them in the first place… it has to do with that part of my personality that is stubborn, hard headed, and completely lacking in common sense.
The only good news… and I am being very careful not to really let it feel like it’s anything at all… is that I am not in more pain now than I was before the treadmill. I was sure I was going to set myself back and not be able to cross the room this evening. But right now it’s kind of at no harm no foul…
That’s all I’ve got. I’m not particularly happy about the way some of this is unfolding, but that’s life. I’ll just have to work a little harder to solve this. In the meantime, I’m going to gather whatever exercise I have available to keep getting something in, and I guess I’ll repeat the minute intervals until something gets worse. And I’m just going to have to really… I don’t know… self-advocate at these upcoming appointments. Something’s obviously wrong, and someone has to be able to figure it out. And about the race… I’ve begun looking ahead and preparing myself for the fact I might not be able to resume training like I was doing it. But, pardon my language, come hell or high water, I’m running that race at the end of September (it’s just mind over matter). I can do that. Everything I do between now and then is just building. It was supposed to be my first race anyway. Not my only one.
I’ve been putting out one downer post after another around here. Except for that tofu one. That one just made me sad on the inside. Because tofu’s gross, but my mom is going to make me eat it anyway.
Off to correct a blood sugar…