It’s perfectly fine to vent. Who else but us can come close to understanding, even if we haven’t experienced all of it.
Writing about it is cathartic.
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Uggghhhhh those side-effects/physical traumas/traumas SUCK. I would be freaked out, too.
I dealt with some hand issues two years ago that landed me at the rheumatologist in the same building as the VA medical practices. I felt SO weird/scared/sad going to this building with all of these traumatized people and I’m like, “Is this where I’m at now? Is this the health turn that my body is taking?” And I get recurring hand problems every winter. Some believe it’s new autoimmune stuff. Some believe it is winter stuff. I’m not doing anymore blood work for now bc it all seems awfully GREY AREA for my taste. I’m putting that rock back down and not looking under it for fun until I have a better reason to.
So I can semi-relate…but what you’re dealing with is worse than what I was dealing with…although three different fingers did swell up and lock up for over a week. So I relate. And it SUCKED. But the mental scariness was the worst part for me. I’m already physically compromised…I don’t need new hoops to add to it!!! And then those hoops getting set on fire just for fun by the universe?? UMMM, NO THANKS!!
So…my favorite social worker who specializes in trauma resolution is Rachelle McCloud. She puts out a ton of free educational videos on her YouTube channel. I listen to them repeatedly while I’m cleaning or walking or waiting for my kids’ practices to wrap up or whatever. It’s just such good information for me both personally and professionally (I work in the substance abuse space now…which we’re finding is a result of people trying to deal with TRAUMA pretty much always).
Here is the video that I would recommend starting with. It’s around 90 minutes but it just gives such a fantastic explanation of what happens to us mentally, emotionally, and to our nervous system after either acute or chronic trauma.
And she covers a million helpful topics in other videos. I cannot recommend her enough.
Anyway…I have found her work TREMENDOUSLY helpful and healing for myself. I just wanted to share it as a resource for your consideration. No pressure from me one way or the other.
Oh. And HUGS. I’m sending you BIG HUGS!
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You’ve been through some sh!t (as have most people, I’m sure). I remember when you were going through that testing and stupid drs scaring you. Don’t look under the rocks! No matter how shiny! You have more important things to do…
I’ll definitely give that a listen when I get home after dr appt. I could use some help! Allison to the rescue!
Hopefully I don’t need my hospital bag, but I just had to go triple check it, so hubby has less to think about. And if I do need it, I’m not going back to the same one. One good thing about all the hospitals merging, insurance wise…
Hugs back!
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Sounds like a real rough patch. I wish I had something more concrete to offer than the knowledge that:
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You are not alone. We are all here for you, we understand, and you can go ahead and vomit on our shoes* as much as you’d like.
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This, too, shall pass.
I wish you nothing but a quick resolution to all of this, and to feel well.
*I don’t know if that’s a common expression or not, but it’s what we say in my office when someone is having a rough time and needs to vent to colleagues who’ve been through the same trenches, because no one else is quite capable of comprehending. You get the metaphor.
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At ER, waiting…could be compartment syndrome, but that’s from the dr appt, and he wasn’t convinced I shouldn’t just wait for it to get worse. (Not my usual dr)
Hubby and I figured that with my luck, it will get worse at 2 am, and we’d be heading over here anyway, so just get it checked out.
I do worry about nerve damage, so here I am. Not particularly thrilled about it, but c’est la vie.
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@Mariethm oh, I’m so sorry but yes, best to get looked at in ER. I hope they will be able to diagnose you and subscribe medication without having to stay overnight. Hugs to you.
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Quick update: Hospitals suck. That being said, the PA “diagnosed” me without examining me. She said compartment syndrome is impossible in the hand/forearm. (So wrong!) Went on to say it could be a clot or DVT, but they couldn’t test for either, and neither of those is common in hand/forearm. “Diagnosed” neuropathy. Recommend Aleve (can’t take), immobilization, and wearing a splint. Made me feel like a piece of sh!t for going in. But good to know its not an emergency? That’s the thought I’m going with. Finally found a splint in the closet. Will try it, and hope it doesn’t cause swelling. Calling Neurologist soon to see if she has any thoughts or wants me to come in.
Thank you to everyone for the hugs and well-wishes. They are more appreciated than you know!
Marie
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I didn’t know about compartment syndrome so I did a search, perhaps PA should make use of a search engine.
The legs, arms, and abdomen are most prone to developing compartment syndrome.
Compartment Syndrome: Causes, Diagnosis, Symptoms, and Treatments
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Had you had these symptoms prior to this occurrence? It seems very coincidental that you would suddenly have neuropathy right after having been in the hospital with IVs in hand, etc. Of course, it is possible. I hope the pain subsides despite the ER “diagnosis”.
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@Mariethm It’s OK to lose it once in a while, much better than bottling it up inside. Not sure of your situation, perhaps it’s time to let others at least help you take care of meals, cleaning, etc., if not do it for you. Any know that you’re not the only one, I used to play classical piano regularly and would get ear infections/coughs that impacted my ability to hear…drove me crazy not to be able to hear what I was playing. I’m also Type A, in control of everything…right up until T1 taught/teaches me different…I’ve “lose control” figuratively and physically regularly and drive myself and wife nuts when I do. So, it’s a lot more “normal” for you to do so with what you’re experiencing as well. I don’t have the answers for situation, but willing to listen to any “rant” you may need to put out there, better to let off steam like a pressure cooker… Here’s hoping your docs come up with good advice and treatment for you!
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@Trying I’ve had carpal/cubital tunnel and ulnar impingement in my left arm. (And subsequent surgery) Had an EMG on right arm 2 years ago, and it was fine. I did have some instances of both hands sporadically dropping things, but with OT the right one has been fine for over a year. Even during the problems with the left, it never felt like this.
Last week, my neurologist had made an appointment in the spring to redo the EMGs on both arms, just to keep a check on them, as I do have some minor cervical spine arthritis that she wants to keep an eye on. Perhaps the PA saw that and jumped to conclusions.
Its not as painful as yesterday, although it has been flaring up with much arm movement. So for now I’m taking it easy, making use of meals I froze for such an occasion. And trying to ignore the messes my hubby makes. There will be plenty of time to clean later…
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Haha, good idea!! Less stress at home, too!!
I’m glad to hear the pain has subsided a bit and hope that means you will fully recover!! Hugs to you…
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100% agree with @TomH. This is one of the most vital functions of FUD in my view…sometimes we just need to vent and be heard around people who understand, and don’t judge.
Kudos to you for venting and hopefully this gets fixed soon for you.
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I agree wholeheartedly! 
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