It seems like all I do is fight these days. Everything is a struggle. And a lot of it is stupid stuff that I can’t control. I’m still figuring out what I can control, which is my regimen, what I need to do to keep my D in check, and although I’ve gotten better at rolling with the punches, these last few weeks have been rough. I’m pretty sure my husband would love the crying jags to stop. Working backwards from today…
My new endo charged me for the in-office tutorial for my CGM 2 months ago. Which my insurance told me is almost unheard of. I’ve been calling 3 times a week to get it figured out. They’re just giving me the run-around, so I fired the Dr. Now I have to call Dexcom to unshare with him. Btw, the CGM hasn’t been working out too good…
Last night, we got an order of veggies from a box service thingy. (We don’t shop in stores, and haven’t since April. My husband is terrified of me catching covid, and I decided its best for his mental health to stay home.) They were supposed to arrive Saturday, which would have really helped in my shopping order planning. Anyway, the veggies were a mess, and I kinda lost it. Trying to balance our diets has always been an issue, but always having fresh veggies around is one thing we both need. So, I was mad, and went to bed sans dinner or our after-dinner walk.
Yesterday, we visited hubby’s parents in their front yard, as usual. They live close by, so we take care of their shopping, chores, etc. His brother, sister, and their kids (haha, not their kids together) came over, which is usually awesome, as they live further away. Wow, this is complicated. Anyway, my husband and I always wear masks when we leave our place. His sister and her kids don’t, unless they know they can’t distance, and they’re very good about it. His parents don’t see anyone, and sometimes remember, so we’re not too worried.
His brother, and his wife’s very large family, are anti-maskers, and do not practice any kind of distancing. We’ve repeatedly asked him to wear a mask around us. Or just not come near us. At this point its almost insulting that he won’t respect our boundaries. Yesterday, I was too tired to fight with him, and hear that stupid sigh of, “ok, if YOU think its sooo important”. So, we had to leave before I could hang out with my niece, who is the light of my life (and who, oddly, made me deal with my D openly. But that’s a story for another day). I hate playing the D card, so I just don’t anymore.
Friday, I was on the phone with Peapod trying to get charges off for things that were missing. Why must good yogurt be so hard to get?!! And why do they sub it with that sugary scrap? They sent me a coupon, and it wasn’t valid.
A few weeks ago, I had a skin infection on my face. My neck and cheeks doubled in size. As my PCP is not really open, and most urgent cares and clinics are dealing with Covid, or don’t do walkins, I ended up having to go to the ER. This is after calling my PCP and the on-call dr writing in my chart that I had a “rash”. Yay for $300 bill. But I was having gangrene nightmares. For real. And my fasting BG was over 200, so I knew it was serious.
The osteoarthritis in my left shoulder is getting worse, and my right shoulder is trying to catch up with it. I’m trying to decide if it’s worth getting a shot and recalculating doses, as I just had to after starting a statin. Maybe I’ll ask about Zilretta…
I get so sick of things being “life-threatening”. Everything has to be so freaking dramatic all the time. I’ve always had a problem with depression, and I try so hard to keep my head above water. I’ve changed a lot since being diagnosed 4 1/2 years ago, mostly for the better, but its been a long, hard road (as I’m sure it has for everyone). One thing that has changed for the worse is that I constantly find the need to explain why I need things the way that I do. And I’m always apologizing.
I know this is all inconsequential stuff, but its piling up quickly. Before Covid, I would have just put my headphones on, put VNV Nation’s “Control” on repeat, and go for a 2 hour power walk. But that’s no fun anymore. Having asthma and trying to breathe through a mask is not a great time.
Anyway, thanks for listening to my stupid problems. Sorry to ramble.
I think this forum is awesome. It makes me feel less like a terrible diabetic.