I just left my eye doctor appointment sobbing from the conversation with the head opthomalogist of the practice. He was trying to push corrective LASIK laser eye surgery and honestly I just wasn’t interested and was under the impression that t1d werent eligible for the surgery, which I told him. He continued on that now t1d are eligible because of all the new fancy technologies. He asked if I had a pump and what my a1c was. I said yes and that my latest was an 8.5 three months ago but I’m hoping at my visit in a few days that it’ll be down around a 7 (which I’m really proud of!) he was appalled - “what? You should have an a1c at a 5 if you’re on a pump” - stated very higher than thou in his white coat. I’m so upset at myself that I gave in and felt the need to defend myself when I am really happy with my progress. I told him “I’ve been working really hard on this and have relearned carb counting and have been establishing all my pump settings”. “O ya? well what’s been your highest number in the past month?” (Again how inappropriate and accusatory, but yet I felt the need to prove myself a good, hardworking patient). “The highest I’ve been since New Year’s Eve is around 190.” He starts looking at my records, “I really don’t think you should fill your prescription for new glasses. The way your diabetes is out of control, your prescription will just need to be changed again in a few months.” (1. I f$@&/:g know, it’s not like I don’t think about this every five minutes throughout each and every day. 2. Isn’t that your job?) I literally break down in tears in front of him and his assistant, which he was surprised at. He goes on to say we all have problems but we just need to face them heads on (trying to be motivational I guess), to which I respond “this problem is one that will never go away and that clearly has a lasting impact on my life. I understand that and this is something that I have dedicated and will continue to dedicate a lot of time and effort into addressing.”
So embarrassing to have broken down like that. And I’m just really upset at how a TRAINED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL thinks it’s appropriate and productive to go accusing and looking down on patients. Also like f$&k off and let me live my life. I’m working on my diabetes management so obsessively and to have an outsider that doesn’t even specialize in it come and tell me how I should care for myself without any sort of understanding of what I’m doing and trying to achieve. Just so upsetting.