14 hours without insulin... what could you expect to happen?

[T1Allison]

@Nickyghaleb

I don’t know what to say here… I love you? Is that too forward?

What are you doing for the rest of your life? Because I’m free?

No?

You’ve told my story. You’ve described my struggles. Expressed my unrealistic expectations. Experienced my misconceptions. And in the end, you’re made happy by the thing that makes me happy.

I love your response! I really enjoy hearing your point of view on here.

[T1Allison]

@Eric

We all a have different goals and aspirations. As you state, if you want to “hang out with my kids and live a long boring life", then you can do that. D won’t get in the way. Just like the people who have an unquenchable desire to climb Mt. Everest. D couldn’t possibly stand in their way.

I stand by my statement. Whatever you want to do. If you have enough drive to do it as a non-D, then D would probably not be enough of a factor to stop you. A little bit harder, sure. A little extra effort required. But not enough to stop you from anything you want to do.

These aren’t just rah-rah words from me. This is the truth. If you have enough drive to do something, then that drive will carry you above whatever extra challenges D throws in your way.

I think we agree far more than we disagree on all of this. I appreciate that T1D is #50 on your list and that is something that I want for myself. I’m not there right now.

Here’s where I’m trying to be precise about my mindset and my mental health with T1D: You can do anything you want to do if you have the drive, but you have to do it differently than if you didn’t have T1D.

Maybe what I’m about to say is heresy on FUD, and if it is, then I apologize. But I lived for 21 years without T1D. Maybe that gives me the “before” that I’ll always be chasing until we have a cure. What I miss about life without T1D is spontaneity…not planning…doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted…not having to prioritize what’s most important to me and working towards that because you do have to prioritize with T1D…being a commercial pilot. I miss those things. I teared up on the USS Yorktown when we got in the RADAR room because I miss the radios and ATC. I had a job slot at Indy Tower to be a controller but I didn’t pursue it due to T1D.

I’m in a high workload season of life. I work, I commute, I have two young sons whom I’m trying to raise right, and I have a traveling husband. That feels like a lot sometimes.

I do everything right every single day. I rotate sites, I log everything, I count everything, I plan everything. And Every. Single. Day something happens that throws it all off. Maybe it’s hormone roulette where I get to play “Guess your basal rate today” or maybe it’s a site that leaks fluid and blood into the surrounding adhesive like yesterday at work or maybe it’s the Pod Scream of Death that happened Saturday night when I had been in bed for 10 minutes.

My point is: I am T1D. I have to prioritize what is important to me because there is only so much stretch in the rubber band. I have to plan out how it will all work in order to keep things balanced. Honestly: I resent that at times.

So yes, if climbing Mount Everest is what I want to do (my best friend is doing it next year before she starts her family), then I could make that work. But my point is: To do it as a T1D, you have to do it differently. I have to be clear in my own head that that is the reality of the situation…and being emotionally honest, sometimes that irritates me.

I’m not saying any of this to be Debbie Downer. I truly am not. But I am being as honest as possible with myself and all of you because (1) I know it is helpful for me, (2) maybe it will be helpful for someone else and (3) it gives context for future discussions because until you guys kick me out, you’re probably stuck with me.

[docslotnick]

This hand wringing is epic. Diabetes is whatever you make of it.

I went to dental school out of control, I had two kids out of control, gaining good control has allowed me to have a 41 year successful career.

The only thing D prevented me from doing was joining the military, but it could have been my flat feet.

Do I spend some time controlling my D? Sure. But I also always take 5 pills in the morning and 4 pills in the evening too. Every day. Never missed a one.

I’m not immune to the ravages of D or of old age, as my recent stroke attests. But it would have happened, D or not.

What I’m saying is you have to take care of it like any chronic malady, but that’s life. You’ve really got no choice in the matter. And live your life as you see fit under the circumstances you’re been dealt.l

[T1Allison]

@T1Allison

If I get sucked into inspirational sayings that work for other T1D’s that I know here locally, it just makes me sad.

@Eric, I want to clarify my above statement. I don’t know if it came across as directed at people here on FUD…but what I meant is that there is a geographically local family I hang out with whose sixth grader has been T1D since two years old. When I have dinner with them, I watch what I say about my feelings about T1D very closely because their family mantra is “You can do anything you want anytime with T1D”. I love that about them. My point is, though, that that thinking is not emotionally helpful to me because of my relationship with the disease and my very literal thinking.

So I don’t know if that came across as a shot across the bow at anyone here, but it was not intended that way at all.__

[ClaudnDaye]

@docslotnick

The only thing D prevented me from doing was joining the military, but it could have been my flat feet.

This almost stopped me from joining…I had to do some stupid “duck walk” for like 20 minutes before they checked off that my “flat feet” don’t impact my overall performance.

[ClaudnDaye]

@T1Allison

When I have dinner with them, I watch what I say about my feelings about T1D very closely because their family mantra is “You can do anything you want anytime with T1D”.

Do you want this to be your mantra? Seems to me that it can be for anyone if you want that to be the case badly enough? Maybe I’m missing something?

[docslotnick]

@ClaudnDaye This was 45 years ago and they still had some strange restrictions. Flat feet was just as automatic a fail as D. Go figure.

[T1Allison]

I don’t think I’m allowed to post what my mantra for T1D would be…I seem to recall rules for FUD somewhere saying not to cuss.

[ClaudnDaye]

Nope, no rule against that. We’re all adults here…we do have filters in place, though.

[Eric]

@T1Allison

So I don’t know if that came across as a shot across the bow at anyone here, but it was not intended that way at all.

I am sorry if my comments were too strong. And @T1Allison, you don’t need to worry about your own feelings about the disease. You can feel and do and try and be whatever you are comfortable with here. Nobody ever judges others on this site for how they feel about it or what they do with the disease.

I just wanted to share my perspective because I think it is particularly important for the new ones and the young ones to be able to develop an attitude of Unlimited. I also think it is very important for the parents of T1’s to develop that attitude so that they are not bubble-wrapping their children and helicoptering them through the disease and through life. I love stories of young ones here progressing and taking charge.

I just wanted to show that it is an option. But it is not required for the site or for anyone.

I have seen some remarkable things here with what people are doing. this site continues to inspire me daily. I hope you take inspiration away from it as well.

[Jen]

@T1Allison

I’m in a high workload season of life. I work, I commute, I have two young sons whom I’m trying to raise right, and I have a traveling husband. That feels like a lot sometimes.

I do everything right every single day. I rotate sites, I log everything, I count everything, I plan everything. And Every. Single. Day something happens that throws it all off. Maybe it’s hormone roulette where I get to play “G

I can so relate to what you write here. It’s not identical to my situation, but the overall tone is so similar to how I often feel.

I’m not new to diabetes, but it has yet to become as easy to me as taking some pills. It is all day, unrelenting, constant work that may or may not actually pay off in calm blood sugars. Diabetes and the other chronic conditions I have interfere with every aspect of every day of my life. And, while I’ve never known what life is like being completely so-called healthy, I remember when things were a lot more simple than they are now, and I do miss those days.

Sure, I can do anything I want (well, almost). But it does take more planning, more thinking, more effort, more time, more advocacy, more problem-solving. And sometimes, especially when busy trying to complete other life goals, all of that just gets exhausting, and there is never any break. So, while I could do anything, often I just don’t have the time or energy to consider it.

And, yeah, that bothers me. The idea that I may turn something down because of diabetes or other health issues bothers me. And the fact that I feel resentful sometimes that managing health issues take up so much of my time. I haven’t yet given into that, but I have almost done so several times.

Anyway, I didn’t mean to add to the “downer” mood. But sometimes this stuff is really, really hard. It is NOT all easy and routine and, while perspective definitely matters, even the most optimistic person has a right to feel overwhelmed or sad or frustrated when dealing with this stuff sometimes. The key is to not let that mood become routine or permanent, but forums like these are a GREAT place (in my opinion) to be able to express those feelings, because I know I for one do not express them often in daily life.

[Eric]

@Jen

Sure, I can do anything I want (well, almost). But it does take more planning, more thinking, more effort, more time, more advocacy, more problem-solving. And sometimes, especially when busy trying to complete other life goals, all of that just gets exhausting , and there is never any break. So, while I could do anything, often I just don’t have the time or energy to consider it.

Jen, I think you do more than I ever could. I am in awe of how you move around the city and post things and work and do all that you do while visually impaired. I am inspired by you. I appreciate you being here and sharing what you do every day. I think you are a total bad-ass.

[Jen]

@docslotnick

Flat feet was just as automatic a fail as D

I have very flat feet and they’ve led to problems so severe I’m almost disabled by them. Like, I can’t walk more than two blocks without excruciating pain, or walk on even remotely uneven surfaces like a cracked sidewalk without twisting an ankle. I’ve been trying to fix these issues for years now. I’ve been told I should have had orthotics since I began walking and I didn’t get them until I was 25, which led to all manner of other subsequent problems. If I could take a away my foot/ankle issues or take away my diabetes, I’d choose my foot/ankle issues, no joke.

[T1Allison]

@Jen

Sure, I can do anything I want (well, almost). But it does take more planning, more thinking, more effort, more time, more advocacy, more problem-solving. And sometimes, especially when busy trying to complete other life goals, all of that just gets exhausting , and there is never any break. So, while I could do anything, often I just don’t have the time or energy to consider it.

This. You nailed it.

T1D for me is about priorities. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to prioritize so darn much and could just live.

It doesn’t mean I’m not a fighter. It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate what I do have and what I have accomplished. For me, I just have to acknowledge that it sucks sometimes. Totally.__

[Jen]

@Eric

I think you are a total bad-ass.

Thanks. I certainly don’t feel that way many days!

[Beacher]

So I had cereal and half an iced cookie for lunch and shot up from 90 to 270 so I went and had a look in the mirror. I’ve determined that being high makes my hair look more salt-and-pepper than usual. Otherwise, no tell-tale signs.

[T1Allison]

I’ve determined having high BG makes my ass look bigger. Because it’s not a cuss word.

[docslotnick]

@Jen. My Mother had convex flat feet when she was a child. She had surgery to break the bones that made up the arches and reset them in a more favorable manner. She then had flat feet but it did not bother her.

I wonder if such a radical procedure is still available.

[Aaron]

So - is that more the effect on your vision or on your hair?