such an official word
I’m curious for parents that have had these talks on drinking or other dialogues where you’ve voiced your concerns for your children going into college/time of independence in high school - were your children receptive to these conversations? Any tactics for these conversations? I remember shrugging off everything my mom told me in high school as a “gosh mom I know! It’ll be fine”
You should invite all of us to a later lesson in this series so it can be “diabetics have a party” instead of “drinking with my dad”
Plus then we can teach your kid another important lesson – dangers of drinking games, and how to avoid letting other people decide how much you will drink
I’m still getting my wife to “come around” to this idea at all. lol. As an accountant, she doesn’t ever want to do anything wrong at all (overly ethical)…I’ve told her it’s “civil disobedience for the greater good.”…she didn’t go for it. We’re supposed to take a trip when he graduates high school (next year) to Germany to visit his sister, my daugher, and since they have no drinking age over there, she told me we could do it over there.
I’ve told her I’m gonna do it anyway whether we end up going to Germany or not cuz I think it would be helpful for all the reasons cited above. My son knows a lot (he’s wanting to be an Astrophysicist / theoretical phycicist)…but even really smart kids don’t know about drinking and all of the things involved until they actually do it…I want his first experience to be a pleasant and educating experience so I’m gonna do it whether mama’s on board or not.
I have a friend with the same respect for rules. Although, my friend is also very clear with her son that if he drinks before 21 he is cut off financially.
I then told her how my 21st birthday went (and by the way, waking up covered in puke while still drunk…and finding puke in both of my kitchen sinks that I don’t remember putting there? Ewww)…and her eyes got huge…and the next day she told me that she’d had a talk with her son about how to safely drink even though she still does not condone it and will still cut him off.
At least he has a better shot at survival now.
might I suggest old school mario kart?
EH went to a very excellent college full of the smartest people. It was an incredibly hard partying school. I never would’ve guessed it beforehand, but plenty of drinking (and drug use now that I think about it) took place there. I would totally agree with your sentiment, and your thoughts of having your kids drinking experience the first time happening somewhere safe.
Not there yet with my own kids, but I do wonder if my cousins tolerated my talk since I’m a cousin…but I do plan to shoot straight with my own kids. Wish me luck!
I love @Chris’s “curriculum”.
I clearly never listened to my parents. That’s how I ended up writing an entire paper about how Saddam Hussein bombed Pearl Harbor. I didn’t read the history assignment…asked my mom instead…tuned out…then concluded that Saddam Hussein bombed Pearl Harbor. I missed something in the middle.
Fast forward two weeks to when I got my paper back:
Mom: How was you day, honey?
Me: Not Great! APPARENTLY, Saddam Hussein did NOT bomb Pearl Harbor and I got a C- on my paper because of YOU!
Mom: I never told you that! Why on Earth would you think that Saddam Hussein bombed Pearl Harbor?
But, I still got a C- on the paper which I feel is commendable.
This gave me my biggest daily laugh. Love it!
Like many kids from European families, I drank with my parents and extended family from before I was in high school – small amounts, of course! at first some of my dad’s beer or a small glass of wine with Sunday roast – and so I learned just from observing that people could have a few drinks in a social setting, with a nice meal, and enjoy themselves without getting falling-over drunk. (Which is not to say I’ve never overdone it – I went from high school to the drug- and alcohol-fueled world of restaurant kitchens and gay bars, nuff said.) Later on, when I went to university, I was surrounded by younger people who’d never had a glass of wine with dinner, who’d never been exposed to alcohol except at crazy parties with friends, who understood drinking only as keep going till you pass out cuz that makes you so cool. I kept a bottle of whiskey in my dorm room, and people would say, “What’s that for?” and I’d say I sometimes liked a glass when I was reading at night, and they’d say, “Why would you do that?” Like, dude, that’s just crazy, it’s booze, you’re supposed to chug it!
It’s interesting, and disappointing, that much of the literature about alcohol and diabetes is written with the presumption of excess. It’s easy to find guidelines about partying, celebrating, not conking out so you can treat a low, staying hydrated, treating vomiting. It’s not so easy to find guidelines for having a cocktail before dinner, or a glass or two of wine with dinner. Although maybe if that’s what you do, you don’t need any guidelines.
I served in Europe in the Army in the early to late 90’s and it was amazing the differences in strategy over there. Nudity? Everywhere…who cares. Cigarettes? Machines on the street corners. Who cares. Alcohol? Who cares…no age limit. Before I left Germany they were even allowing public use of Marajuana, just not legal to “sell”, but legal to “use” in bars and such.
The result? Kids did NOT SMOKE OR DRINK! and didn’t spend all their time thinking about nudity and sex…
It’s amazing how different the cultures and and how the “taboo” nature of conversations and laws are surrounding these topics make them MORE appealing to kids in America.
haha the biggest druggies I’ve ever met are all the husband’s friends from college – and they all went to an elite Ivy. so yep, no guarantee that being smart means being smart about illicit substances.
I honestly am really honest with my kids. I don’t lecture, well I do lecture sometimes but I realize those are for my benefit and to calm my fears and that they have no impact on my kids.
When we are talking about Drinking or Drugs or Sex, I honestly say, you are old enough now to make your own decisions. What your Mom and I wish for you doesn’t matter anymore. Then we talk about the pros and cons and consequences (i.e. law enforcement and babies and such) and we don’t include our consequences because threats don’t work. My kids are smart enough to realize if I find out they were drink driving they won’t have access to a car anymore.
Honestly, I think once a kid turns 16 they should make as many of their own decisions and not worry what his mom and I think, because soon enough that will be the real situation. The only thing I am left to do is pay the bills and enforce consequences for their actions.
This approach seems to work out ok, I should mention both of my kids make 95% good decisions so this is much easier than my friend who has a kid who gets high 7 days a week and sleeps with his girlfriend every chance he gets, and got caught stoned driving…
I know this thread is now a week old - but here’s my 2c - I was diagnosed at 8 and was morally opposed to underage drinking as I went into college. I hadn’t really had anything alcoholic when I left my parents’ house; maybe a taste or two a couple of times.
So, at the end of my first quarter of school, I went on a college-sponsored trip to London with other students and chaperones/professors. Since 18 is the legal drinking age, I took advantage. I had my pump but no CGM back then (14 years ago)… I was fine, drank a lot but didn’t do anything really dumb, and survived. But that was NOT the way to do it. After that, I didn’t really drink much until I was about 20.
You proactive parents all are very commendable for making sure your kids are prepared for real life with diabetes! Otherwise your kid may end up in a very precarious situation
That is very comforting to hear @allison, your experience is my worst nightmare. Especially since my boy tends to take things to the extremes and lord knows that is not the way to learn about drinking.
I’d like to think I’m smart enough to know when I have the opportunity to make a really bad decision, and to NOT do so. Whenever I have had alcohol, I know that I’ve never had enough to render me unable to take care of myself. I’ve never gotten to that point - got sick one time in college, and that was it. Hopefully he will understand that he is the only one who can help him in those kinds of situations! Education is so important. I did a lot more of that on my own, once the internet was teeming with information on living with diabetes
You sound like a dream child. I hope my boys are like you and “know when to stop”
Bahaha I’m going to tell my parents that you said that I’m a dream child It’s probably partly because my friends didn’t drink much, either, so that was helpful. I do worry about diabetic teenagers whose parents can’t seem to let go of the reins. They will have a harder time taking care of themselves when their parents can’t look over their shoulder every minute of every day… but I’m not a parent, so I can’t really comprehend that, either.
I had other issues… my mom and I went to counseling for a looong time because I’m stubborn and the oldest kid and I didn’t like to listen. Diabetes-wise, she said I did a really good job of taking care of myself, but looking back I know it wasn’t great. I’m alive and doing well, but if only the tech available now was out 20 years ago, I would have had much better A1cs.