Welcome, @Cameedee! I’m pretty new here too, and definitely don’t have great answers to all these things… But here are a couple things that might help with your fear of lows!
– If you have an endo, be honest with them about your fear. In the last couple years I was really scared of going low in my sleep, so I was constantly waking up high. I was reluctant to make the basal/I:C changes my endo wanted all at once, but she understood why I felt that way. As a compromise, she helped me take baby steps to change, observe, change, observe. It really helped to see that things weren’t changing as dramatically as I had worried.
– Speaking of observations… Sugar Surfing is a great book! Handy tips to use our CGMs to build confidence observing reactions and testing changes safely. Micro-carbing and micro-bolusing might change your life. I’m only halfway through but definitely think it’s essential CGM reading. (Thanks for the rec, FUDiabetes folks!)
Sugar Surfing also touches on some of the other things you mentioned, like the roller coaster days and the unpredictability of our bodies/hormones/activities every day (and learning how to deal with that unpredictability).
– When you’re worried about lows, you could try setting your CGM low alert at a higher threshold. I set mine between 80 and 100, so that on a trending downward graph, it’s alerting me when I’m actually 70 (instead of when I’m already in the middle of a “severe low”).
– Have low treatments everywhere. In your bedside table, in your car, in your purse. In your “special occasion” purse, in your cubicle at work, in your best friend’s cubicle at work… I also keep a Glucagon kit in my house and at work (with a big medical alert sign with instructions on when and how to use it).
I also hate constantly eating to treat a persistent low… But feeling over-prepared helps me feel safer – in the unavoidable event that a low happens!