Thank YOU for sharing your thoughts. I almost didn’t start this thread either. I worry too much about what people think (including internet strangers, apparently) and wasn’t sure I should go there. But I was feeling down about food and eating and how I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be doing, and there aren’t a lot of people in my “real life” to talk to about these things.
I’m new at this diabetes thing, and I don’t have the added complexities that many people have, like balancing self care with parenting, food allergies and sensitivities, multiple medical conditions, etc. I don’t want to seem insensitive to what others are dealing with by whining that I haven’t eaten milk duds in 8 months. I certainly hope it never comes across that way. I just hoped that someone in this little corner of the Internet would kind-of get it. And I appreciate you all sharing and helping me and others feel understood.
Like @Jen said, I just wish someone could tell me what I’m supposed to do, with some kind of scientifically backed something. We eat like 3 meals a day plus snacks and drinks, with carbs, protein, fat, fiber, sugar, saturated fat, “healthy fat,” alcohol, artificial sweeteners, and on and on. That’s so many choices to make in a day or a week or whatever on how to fuel our bodies and satisfy our appetites, with precious little real guidance on how to do it. And what guidance we do get changes every few years. Throw in the social and emotional stuff linked to eating and I can see how it’s so hard for so many people.
I appreciate that you are all here to share this conversation with
I often feel like an alien species when I listen to North Americans talking about food, with their (to me) bizarre love-hate/Puritan-punishment relationship with food and eating. Words like “guilt,” “cheat,” “sinful,” “deserve” and “reward” to me just don’t belong in the conversation. So I’m not going to rant. (I say North Americans because I find Europeans have a much more well-adjusted relationship with eating, and for the most part eat a much healthier diet and understand moderation. <-- blanket statement)
Regarding the difficulty of resisting temptation, I recently read an interesting study about people’s language around temptation; those who said “I don’t” (eat ice cream, etc.) resisted temptation more successfully, and for longer, and felt more empowered, than those who said “I can’t.” (https://academic.oup.com/jcr/article/39/2/371/1797950) Worth thinking about when the tub of ice cream beckons.
(I don’t know why my post is in reply to kpanda01.)
@Beacher, I somehow always get nervous when I see you’ve responded to a thread where I’ve commented on anything that falls under the I feel category. As a constant feeler of everything, your ability to navigate around (or without) this burden DOES make you alien to me. And I think it’s awesome. Although I will still default to defensive at the opening of every one of your comments, because it happens before I have time to ask myself why, I’m learning to really embrace what you have to offer. It’s the truth will set you free, but first it’ll ■■■■ you off kind of thing.
I believe it. I’ll change my tune. Not easily, I don’t imagine, but I’ll change it.
And I hope you don’t take any offense to my remarks. I don’t mean them in a negative way in the least. It’s truly a compliment passed on through a questionably raw delivery. So then I should revise it for better accuracy… I used to get nervous when I saw you had responded, but now I look forward to seeing what you’ve got to say.
Yep, it’s pretty fascinating. Our culture has created a bit of a mess with regard to how we interact with food. Despite my creating this post, I honestly don’t feel like I have huge issues in this area, just run of the mill frustrations. But I grew up with a mom who was constantly dieting, never happy with her body, and was pretty vocal about the merits of whatever diet she was trying at the time. Meanwhile, candy and ice cream were used as treats and rewards pretty regularly. It’s interesting to think about how these messages impact how a kid grows up to feel about food and his/her body.
So, this is the goal for me as well. I eat the same balanced breakfast at work 5 days a week. Followed by a nutritious lunch. Monday through Thursday dinner is reasonable. That’s a lot of balanced, nutritious meals. But then on Friday we eat dinner out and I might want pizza once a month or so. And on a Saturday morning I might get a bagel sandwich, again maybe once a month. Annnd there’s often ice cream in the freezer so I’ll enjoy a small serving of that once or twice a week and if I’m reaaaally feeling crazy an Andy’s frozen custard with all the Reece’s mixed in every couple months. Sometimes I might eat the whole bun on a black bean burger and eat a few fries (gasp!). So I start to wonder, at what point do all these “once a month” things add up to a crappy diet?
Rhetorical question, really. But that’s the biggest thing I struggle with, and I’m not sure an answer exists. I really feel like I eat heathy most of the time, and yet I still worry that it’s not enough, because all that other stuff is adding up.
While I won’t address your somewhat incendiary statement, I will say that a big contributor to the obesity epidemic in the US, isn’t so much people’s relationship to food, rather the fact that food is so much cheaper in the US than in Europe.
This doesn’t forgive the stupid relationships that people have with food, but it does go some of the way to explaining why our restaurants serve such large portions, so it is quite easy to offer “value” in the size of the meal.
Agreed. Not the good food though… that is very expensive. The terrible stuff is cheap, and when you mix in the price along with the wide availability and selection of terrible food with the general ignorance, you’ve got an overweight, sick society. I look at my brother-in-law, who is now probably 37 and see the average consumer when it comes to buying food. He wants to lose weight. He wants to be healthy. He feels bad that he doesn’t go to the gym. Then he goes to the house and stocks his fridge with processed foods that are high in fat and/or sodium and looks confused when I talk about there being better selections. I teach portion size in my house because it was never taught to me. I’m not a stickler, I don’t threaten or punish, but I encourage them to use the right size bowl. (Although I also remember everyone’s reaction to my cereal bowl so… wrong audience ). The reason I teach it (and use it) is because it’s not so much about whether or not you’re making the perfect choice as much as it is you’re being honest with yourself about what you’re doing.
Then I go eat a bag of chips way past midnight and tell no one but you all. And there you have it, @Beacher, a real live American food addict.
I agree with most of what you said, but then you said stupid… I’m one with a stupid relationship that doesn’t feel stupid at all. Never had so much emphasis been put on what I chose to eat before being diagnosed with the diabetus. Now it’s a mind trip every time I decide to eat. And when I feel like I’ve failed in my choice, then I’ve failed at it all.
That’s a heavy trip. Ever see Office Space? Where every day is the worst day of his life?
Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend. I have a pretty good relationship with food currently, but it hasn’t always been that way. So consider my stupid, personal flagellation.
You didn’t. I just needed an argument to go along with my coffee. My relationship actually is stupid. Absurd, rather. Just enjoying the power trip is all.
MORE importantly, to what do you attribute your healthy relationship with food? I have good periods myself, but it’s always when I just don’t eat the stuff. It’s easier to say no to it when I’m not hooked on it. Once I allow it in at all though, it’s back to start again.
I attribute my better relationship to cooking almost everything we eat. Once I started cooking it for most of the meals, it became easier to identify when you are being manipulated.
i.e. I can now spot any food that has been adjusted from the natural taste of it, to find the “bliss point” by manufacturers, and actually prefer the real stuff.
me too! i remember buying a cookie for Samson at one of those “hot” NYC bakeries that’s very in-demand. I eyeballed it, and it was 72 grams of carbs! When we make Tollhouse cookies per the basic directions they’re about 15g per cookie.
Honestly, knowing carb counts for some foods has really made me rethink what I’m going to eat often – and I have no health reason to avoid particular foods.
I used to tell my son to have the pretzel rather than the cookie when we were at Target. My son is a stick and has no interest in food. He preferred the cookie, but I decided to start young with terrible, uninformed food advice to uphold the family tradition. Then one day he asked if we could look at the nutrition facts… which is how we found that the cookie had about 80g of carbs, insane… but the PRETZEL had almost 120.
). The reason I teach it (and use it) is because it’s not so much about whether or not you’re making the perfect choice as much as it is you’re being honest with yourself about what you’re doing.
