was able to make a 2 hour swim. pushed myself hard today. i remembered that one of my goals has been to swim faster, and i realized that the only way i was going to swim faster, was if i swam faster; so today, thats exactly what i did. it was hard, but it felt good.
i had a nice flat line, but my BGs were high the entire swim. here they are:
left the house at BG 142 and due to my lack in trust, i was so afraid that i would crash again, i took 1/2 of a glucose tab before going to the pool. i should have just listened to , who?? to Eric !!!
2pm: BG 169
2:30 BG 172
3pm BG 158
3:30 BG 151
4pm BG 146 / then bolused replacement basal insulin 1.5 units. ( i usually bolus 2 units for a 2 hour swim, but since i’ve been on this darn TB of 80%, i thought it would be best to err on the side of caution, so i tried like an idiot to do the math for 4.5 hours w/out any IOB at all, so that’s how i got this experimental formula)
i don’t know if other PWD have this particular mind set ever but i’ll share mine with you and perhaps you can share your experiences with me:
my BGs are all over the place, they have become, for whatever reason, difficult to manage (highs, lows, unpredictable); so i know i love to swim, but have a lazy mindset. i want to use the excuse: " i don’t know if it is wise for me to exercise today because of X, so i’ll just skip it today and i’ll get back on track tomorrow or maybe even sometime next week."
now i know that is the opposite concept of this entire forum. this goes against everything we try and do here: be UNLIMITED by our disease. but sometimes it can work when we don’t feel up to the job (whatever that job might be). this was how i felt this morning. i kept thinking, “gosh, what a horrible day yesterday was and what a horrible night i had. maybe i’ll just sit in the house all by myself and ruminate how miserable it is to live with D, and how much i hate being D, and how D keeps me from fully enjoying my life…yada, yada, yada.” Well, this is exactly the reason i have been pushing myself so hard. but its work. lots of Fing work. sometimes, i am just exhausted. (for real; not make-believe exhausted ) i just want to throw in the towel and say “i’m out, i’ve had enough.”
so, for me, today was much more of an accomplishment than my steady BGs. it was a mind-set accomplishment. a day wherein i defeated self-pity. Yahoo.