I’ve gone through many iterations of my mindset on this disease. I started out with, “This sucks but if anyone can manage it then I can and I will manage the cr@p out of it.” Then I went through, “I’m having healthy pregnancies and will be Superwoman despite the risks.” Then I went through, “I have little kids and I’m going to cut myself slack bc I cannot possibly manage my T1D as closely as I was AND keep my children alive at the same time AND enjoy the little moments.”
Truth be told, I was probably dealing with some depression these last few years…I think I wanted to believe I could have a pump and have kids and have T1D and it would all work beautifully and fade into the background.
But it doesn’t. I wouldn’t live the way I do if I wasn’t T1D. There is no escaping the fact this disease is responsible for most of the schedule and choices in my household. This recent vacation with in-laws just highlights that fact so much more.
So where I’m at right now is, “T1D is biological chaos. It’s tough. I can do my best with it while balancing my actual life…and neither one will go exactly the way I’d probably choose but it’s the hand I’ve been dealt.”
It is most helpful, for me, to be realistic with myself. If I get sucked into inspirational sayings that work for other T1D’s that I know here locally, it just makes me sad. Sure, I COULD climb Mount Everest as a T1D, but I never wanted to, and if I set out on that goal I’d have to table a whole lotta other things in my life to make it happen. I’m not a Mount Everest kinda person. I’m a “hang out with my kids and live a long boring life punctuated with hilarity” kind of person.