Thank you… that’s what it is… sometimes it looks really easy, but there’s work to making numbers behave! I’m hopeful too. Just need to make smarter choices.
It sucks. it’s hard. It takes so much energy and is so draining. Hang in there! All we can do is be kind to ourselves, accept that perfection isn’t possible, but keep trying to do things better the next day.
I’ve been trying to “fix” my son’s basal, bolus and ISF rates now for a few months and every time I think I make progress, something changes. I don’t think other people can understand how unimaginably frustrating that is…And I’m sure it’s worse for him, as he’s also dealing with the crummy feelings associated with high- and low-blood sugars.
Diabetes is so hard. I don’t think the endless daily grind is something anyone can ever understand unless they experience it. And it’s even more frustrating when we put in all that energy and do everything we can and still end up with poor results. I sometimes feel like my life is a mess (literally, in terms of keeping on top of daily chores and tasks) and I’m so exhausted all the time compared to my friends and colleagues, but then I look at all the extra health stuff I need to do that they don’t have to worry about, and I’m a little less hard on myself.
I firmly believe that when you finally have it figured out is when things go sideways just to remind you that as much as we do to try to control our diabetes, we are novices when compared to gluco-norm pancreases. Personally the constant struggle to balance proactive vs reactive processes to control my bgs wears on me emotionally. I have to remind myself that I’m doing the best that I can at the moment and just continue to work towards my big picture goals, even when things don’t go quite as planned.
@allison hang in there, a better day is just around the corner.
I feel like managing diabetes is akin to running a marathon in which you never make it to the finish line.
Or sometimes I feel like it’s target practice but the target keeps moving at the last second.
I’m sitting still waiting out a tank right now before I can get back to cleaning my garage. I wish I could just get on with it but I’m not really in charge.
Another member here stated that personal Diabetes management was harder than running a Nuclear Power facility. I tend to believe that.
Yep, woke up to multiple alarms last night too. I guess I just bumped up my dose too early
It’s easy to beat yourself up over little decisions. It’s a delicate balance to recognize the improvements we can make without beating ourselves up over the little “mistakes” that people without D never have to even think about.
You’re in good company here I can totally empathize with you.
Hey! I’m at my 24 year mark too I still don’t have it figured out, but I’m miles better than I was a couple of years ago. Life is just a work in progress- even for non-D folks.
I hope tomorrow is better!
I agree that things have definitely improved for me over time, as well. No CGM 20 years ago… I’m sure I was high over night ALL THE TIME. And at school all day. I often wonder how much brain power I’ve fried with bad blood sugars over the years
Thank you all for your awesome thoughts. It’s rough out there and we (T1s and caregivers) have so much to balance. I appreciate the empathy so, so much… one of those mornings where I wanted to shout out, “FU, diabetes!”
I agree. I shudder to think what my glucose levels were like as a kid, teenager, and young adult. These days there are accommodations provided to not end up writing something like an exam with an extremely out-of-range glucose level. I wrote my share of high school and university exams (and job interviews) while extremely high to prevent lows, not knowing such things could affect my cognitive function.
As for learning, I’m almost 28 years in and still feel like I’m guessing or just hanging on for dear life much of the time. Things are for sure better with technology, but only because I also put in hours each day managing my blood sugar.
I hear ya! I’m a year in so still a newb, completely changed my diet to very low carb, walks at the same time every day, and keep food/portions as similar as I can. I know some people find that a difficult way to deal with this but being a control freak it gives me peace to automate as much as I can. My last post on here I was lamenting about doing everything the same and having a morning number of 150ish 4 freaking mornings in a row - no idea why - especially since I was 5+ mornings just prior to that at great numbers! Night before: Hot, A/C on, snack/no snack, 1 beer/2 beers, good sleep/bad sleep, whatever. So I jacked up the basal by 1 unit in the evening as much as I didn’t want to and now I’m 85 to 115 most mornings. I just decided that some days are out of my control (like yesterday at 120) and some mornings I’m an awesome number (this morning 85). I try not to panic when I feel like I don’t know why I’m too high sometimes and just realize a great number is just as attainable and around the corner as well. None of us make it off this planet alive so might as well control what you can and just plain old be happy with everything else!
My husband is super supportive as well and gets tired of me complaining when I have a bad morning number because he thinks I look so great and doing so well and … it doesn’t feel that way. Unless you have this, feel that lack of control, and all the ugly feelings with it - you don’t understand!
:: hugs :: During these rough times, just remember, “This too shall pass.” Let the bad times roll off you and look forward to better times.
I’m going to side with the YOU who’s making the less-smart choices for a second and say: even when you do make the “smartest” choice there are still those WTF days where nothing behaves as it should. So don’t beat you up. You’re doing the best you can. And it’s exhausting and continual work. I’m always proud of everyone working to manage it. It’s work.
And I laughed when you said you deleted your other post due to the harebrained suggestions. It seemed brilliant to delete it and I am glad you didn’t toss out your dairy products and then take a bunch of random stuff someone on the Internet told you to take.
That’s the rub I think. Even at 100%++ effort, sometimes it doesn’t go smoothly. And @Jen, I love your point about giving yourself slack if your chores backburnered because of health chores! Really, sometimes everything else takes a back seat.
I’m sending good thoughts out to you @allison (and everyone else here too, now that I think on it.) And I hope smoother times are ahead.
Ugh, Allison, I just wanted to send a virtual hug your way. This disease SUCKS and getting into one of those patterns where EVERYTHING IS CHANGING and NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK is the worst! You’re also right that no one outside of those of us unfortunately in the know will ever fully understand. I’ll mirror what everyone else has said and remind you to be kind to yourself. Thinking of you - xo - Jessica
Again, thank you ALL! There truly is no other group of people who understand. I’m sure every disease has its issues… ours are special
Oh my gosh. I have been saying the exact same thing over the last week or so. Diabetes is a relentless, constant issue that we have to manage every minute of the day and night.
I have been doing this for almost 50 years as a Type 1 and I am absolutely exhausted by all of it. Testing, managing all the ups and downs, not eating carbs, then having to eat some carbs and my blood sugar goes for 2.8 to 15 from less than a 1/4 cup of apple juice. I sometimes just feel like giving up on all this.
And then I realize that I will feel so lousy if I don’t take care of myself well. But I hear you loud and clear Allison. And I can relate to how you’re feeling.
Sometimes we just need to rant about it for a while. It will probably feel better in a few hours or perhaps later tonight.
All the best to you!
Yes, exactly! Just need to take a breath, do what works, and keep plugging away. Thanks for reading and responding to my own rant
Your not ranting Allison, just expressing the many frustrations we all face as diabetics! That is what makes this such a fantastic site, we all understand and are empathetic with what you are experiencing. Like Elver stated, diabetes is like running a marathon in which you never make it to the finish line…totally agree! Hang in there Allison, we are all with you!